How do you tell your dad he’s wet himself?

[ButSpringDidNotKnow]

Dignified, ferociously independent, very frail, partially sighted, and only just beginning to accept his disability . He’s sitting on the sofa, exhausted from om an outing. He came home wet.

Is there someone he'd hear it from better? Who could advise on the underwear that he might think about trying? If not, maybe buy some yourself, and then he will only have to use it.
Your poor dad-I'm glad he has you to care for him. I feel so sorry for older people in his istuation.

I don’t think it’s the underwear. I think he was just out for too long and didn’t make it to a strange loo in time.

Was he out on his own?

Clearly and straightforwardly.

“Dad, I don’t know if you’ve realised but your wet yourself”

Dont overthink it.
I used to, fairly bluntly, tell myDad when he had dribbled after he had peed. It’s a pretty normal thing for old men to do. I also told him if he needed a wash. It was fine. I felt it was easier to be direct.

Oh bless him, poor man. He’ll be mortified, won’t he? He needs to know that it is incredibly common & that there are pants / liners that he can buy. If he worries that “other people” don’t have this problem then that’s partially because they will be using the pads & other people simply don’t know that.
For DM, we’ve got a clear-up kit ( includes baby wipes, spare pants, spare pads, trousers, tissues & bags for the wet clothes) & keep it in their car.

If it is a one off, occasioned by strange environment/being out longer than usual, I’d be matter of fact and get him washed down and into dry clothes.

If it happens again, then it may be time for a gentle conversation about different pants.

Yes, I agree with this. Matter of fact, something we need to deal with.

Biggest question are you alone? I remember coming home as a young teenager not realising I had started a period and my dress was bloody at the back, my aunt noticed first and quickly ushered me out of the room walking behind me and then explained. If alone I'm sure you can be fairly straightforward, dad I think you've had a bit of an accident. If there are others present maybe get him to come into the kitchen and then explain.

You just say dad you need to go change your trousers.

Or euphemistically, ‘Your trousers are a bit wet. Shall I put some clean clothes in the bathroom for you?’

Is it time for waterproof throws/cushion pads on the sofa? Just so it stays clean when he hasn’t noticed. My uncle’s sofa and chair were ruined as he wasn’t very aware of when he needed to change.