Refusal to accept diagnosis of her husband

[Ritaskitchen]

Last week the GP told DM and DF in a very kind and gentle way that DF has Alzheimer’s Dementia. He also prescribed Donezepil Hydrochloride for DF.
And told them the memory clinic would be in touch.
DF had a CT scan which as well as memory and personality changes confirmed the diagnosis.
DM is currently waiting for the results after her treatment for cancer. She will need more operations and reconstructive surgery and currently is getting all her nutrition through a feeding tube.
She has a long career in geriatric nursing.
She doesn’t think that DF has a Alzheimer’s diagnosis and refused to look at the CT scan on the NHS app when offered.
Is this normal? My suspicion is that this on top of everything else and DF lack of support since her diagnosis and treatment is just too much.
Any thoughts welcome. Dasis and I would like to put some support in place but both parents are very resistant to anything.

I am so sorry to read this.

My DF was diagnosed 2 years ago with vascular dementia (DM took him for a memory assessment and CT scans confirmed it)

All I can suggest is perhaps contacting Alzheimer's Society - I did in tears as had awful thoughts that DF would be put in a home and mum would be homeless to pay for it.

They are EXCELLENT. I wonder too if an Admiral nurse could help them to accept the diagnosis.

My siblings and I live hours away, which does not help. DF is still at home but can not be on his own ( we give mum respite when we can )

Adult social care is another consideration too / Age Concern .

All the best x

I agree, it's all too much for her. She is going through serious health issues herself and does not have the headspace to deal with DF's diagnosis. A dementia diagnosis is very hard to deal with because he's going to deteriorate constantly, and that deterioration could go on for years.

It is common to refuse official 'support' as it is an admission that there is something wrong and you can't cope on your own.

I hope you/your sister already have LPA for parents? If not, that is the first thing to try to arrange. Hopefully your dad is still thought to have capacity to make an LPA.

If your parents are self funding their care there are agencies who offer 'companion care' which is very useful for help with shopping, housework, dressing, washing, taking to appointments - whatever is needed. I used Home Instead for my mother and found them excellent.

Thank you for the replies
LPA is all sorted thank goodness.
We are starting to look at companion care. DF is obsessed with being out of the house - there is nothing to do at home apparently. So we are looking for someone to go for a walk and take him for a pub meal on the weekend.

I will contact the dementia society. Especially for help with attendance allowance

@Ritaskitchen good news about the LPAs.

The Attendance Allowance forms are quite lengthy but they are not too difficult.
There is some very helpful advice here

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/benefits-entitlements/attendance-allowance/what-to-include-in-your-attendance-allowance-application/