Hi I am just looking for some advice or others experience here really. My father is currently in a care home (since Sept 2022) with a diagnosis of vascular dementia.
Sadly my mother passed away in May. Her health had been declining for years but she would not agree to me getting LPA for her. I strongly suspect she had dementia but was not formally diagnosed at the time of her death. Before she died I helped her with her finances which included helping her with her online banking to pay for my dad's contribution to his care home fees, pay her bills etc.
We had never arranged LPA for my father before he moved into a care home. His health declined very rapidly before he was moved into a care home. After numerous falls at home and reluctance to engage with carers Adult Social Services and hospital etc made the decision he should move into a care home which we supported. I think for both parents there was a burying their heads in the sand and real stubbornness in regard to me or my brothers helping.
My mother never left a will. There is no estate. My parents have £30k in a joint account and until her death my mother was in a council flat.
The position I now find myself in is applying for deputyship for my father. He does not have capacity to agree to LPA. I appreciate deputyship applications are long and complicated but I dont really see any alternatives. Once (if) granted deputyship this should enable me to access my parents joint bank account (now just my fathers) in order to pay the care home fees contributions. But I suppose the thing that is worrying me is that I paid in full for my mothers funeral but fully expected to be able to 'refund' myself from the bank account once I could access it. As in a normal scenario my father would have paid for his wife's funeral. But I have read somewhere that you can only pay out things specifically for the person you have deputyship for, so just things like care, clothes for my father. I dont know if I'm overthinking this but I dont know if anyone has experience of this and knows if this will be an issue? Of course you could argue that my mothers funeral costs could come from her half of ther money but how would I access a joint aaccount to be refunded the money? Do you think the bank would help? I wonder if I've made a mistake in paying the funeral costs myself at this stage but in weeks following a death and arranging a funeral you just want it sorted.