Please can anyone offer any advice

[Kimmints1]

Hello all,
My mum passed away a week yesturday and there is a ongoing dispute over my mums final wish for funeral. My dad got funeral plans for them both but my sister is being so cruel by cutting me out of funeral arrangements and my mums funeral wishes. On the plan it states burial but her plan was amended 3 times once for me to hand her control of it and she also changed it from cremation to burial. In 2022 our family dr came to talk to my mum about putting a DNR in place,and the Dr suggested having the horid conversation concerning there wishes with my mum as her progression of dementia was worsening,and that we did, myself sister daughter and mum and dad. My dad said dig a hole put me under my shed, then he said I'm joking. I wasn't to be with my wife, we're evert she is I want to be,cremated. My mum said she would like to go with her dad and brothers cremated. My sister now is causing such family arguments by saying that's what's on the plan, I'm sick I'm obstructing the funeral to go ahead. Although I have proof through diaries and safeguarding issues I raised, and also a letter I sent to my sister beforehand expressing my mum wanted cremation and that the talk happened between us. I have always said my mum wanted cremation. To get you to understand,it comes down to greed, my mum and dad had savings in the home and my dad had said the funerals are taken care of the money upstairs was to help me and my sister after they had gone, for a while and to help there grandchildren too, but my sister has told me I'm not having nothing, that's all I think about. It's her that is causing this problem, as to get my mum buried,in a plot alone with my poor dads ashes above her. It's not about the money it's about doing what my mum wanted and my dad,but she is like a spoilt child and not even acknowledging the conversation with my mum and dad,saying I'm lying, but it is in black and white and drs knew my dad's counsellor social services the drs. What can I do as my mum is laying in state at the moment and it's breaking my heart

Honestly, just let it go. The plan changed. You’re being very controlling and manipulative about this.

It sounds like you are being deliberately contrary, if your mum changed her mind that's it. Why would your sister change it if your mum didn't want to? Does she have religious objections to cremation? I assume burial is more expensive so I don't see what her motive would be to change it if that wasn't what your mum wanted.

Even when the op went to the professionals with her “safeguarding concerns”

The conclusion “sister doing everything right and it was sibling rivalry”

too right

It's not sibling rivalry it was abuse of my parents,there human rights in some cases were abused, I don't care for her,it's about my mum in this instance my dad suffered with her,he cries over her actions and control, even as he was very ill in hospital he said he can't sat anything as she had told my mum would be taken away, Is that normal? Telling my dad no wonder his older daughter didn't want to know him, how he was. That ain't no way a daughter would behave.i protected them always, maybe I didn't do enough but they knew I was always there for them. She controlled and manipulated every situation, it was so cruel for my parents, and no one can tell me otherwise.

Well the professionals all concluded it was sibling rivalry and your sister was “doing all the right things”

Did you try to be their full-time carer?
But the long and the short of it is your mum has now died. You need to have the funeral.

Your poor sister, having to deal with all this now after years of caring for her parents. All she’s doing is following the plan.