Both my parents are dead so this is all behind me but in front if dh.
Dhs dad has had well over a decade of weekly passing out, tests etc which he says has never found anything wrong. Last year he was in hospital for over a week with chest pains. He said his bloods was clear and the hospital didn't know what was up. Mil and bil both said they was in the dark. After a week he was stented and sent home. He was abroad the next week. So seemly a non issue.
He has had another funny turn and again no one knows why. Evidently fil said all tests was clear and mil agrees. The problem is that fil isnt silly and i suspect he holds info back. We only get told many hours after the event has was 999 blue lighted to hospital. Im not sure what made the paramedics say to go in, if all looks fine.
His mum lives in Asia and has never discussed what happens when she gets frail. She got spikey when my mum died without poa and I asked mil if she had poa, will etc. I'm assuming if she needs care over there she has talked to bil or she is going to be in trouble as we can't navigate her county's rules. Head burying nightmare is possibly in the future as she is 70s and never had that conversation, but she might have with bil. They have care homes there and I suspect she expects her other dil to care for her as is the cultural norm.
Anyway dh does not know if anyone of them have anything like poa. I did say if if fil dies before mil then dh can't even ask after her with the hospital as its 200 miles away and its his step mum. He isn't a NOK. I have suggested he asks them about poa. His brother always replies with "I know as much as you do".
In my shoes what can I do? I have asked his mum who got instantly offended. I'm not close to his dad or brother. I have told dh he needs to ask. I can just see a world of pain ahead for dh. Unless he got a call saying its serious he can't make the 400 mile round trip to check in person. When he is being told they have no ideas then it turned out he needed 2 hours plus surgery for stenrs after the event.
Why does everyone just Bury their heads about this stuff? They are all very fit and active but fil is making a habit of spending days in A&E via 999 calls which suggests he isn't in great form. I suspect he is having fits but he says categorically they don't know why. He has been driving even when he was pasing out at work ten years ago.