What to do

[Stotar]

I had a grocery order booked for tomorrow morning for home. I only got an order on Friday last too.

My mother went into a few different spells of anger to me today. None of it made sense.

I am always helping her but she doesn't appreciate anything. After her ranting and rage and it's clear she only has hate for me, I want to cancel the order. She can go to the shops if she wants food - what do you think?

She needs to learn how to talk to me properly and without the hate and spite.

Should I cancel?

Or will I keep the order and reduce my mother's list? Blame the shop or whatever for out of stock items.

You had a post earlier saying you think your mother has dementia. From reading that I agree. So she is not behaving logically. Why punish her if she can’t help it?

I don't have a diagnosis for her. I strongly suspect it's happening. Her GPs are looking for 'forgetfulness' before they will even consider a referral. I chatted to my siblings who's home and they think she's just looking for a purpose.

It's so hard and it will be somewhat easier if I had a diagnosis. I would be able to understand it better. Right now even I am doubting myself. If it's more or mental health issues.

I am always helping her but it's never good enough. Why should I keep going.

Don't cancel the order, that's not fair.

But tell her you can't step up any more and do whatever it is you're doing to help. Then don't do any more orders.