Caring for the carers

[trebleclef101]

If you care for elderly parents, what support or help would you want / need from other family members? My parents (who are in their 70s) are caring for my grandparents (in their 90s) who are basically in denial about how much support they need. My aunt also lives close by them and shares the caring load.

I live abroad so can't really offer anything by way of practical support, but would like to do something for my parents and aunt to help, or at least do something nice for them as I know they're finding it tough.

So wise mumsnetters, any thoughts on what I could do for them? What long distance support would you appreciate if you are caring for elderly parents?

A lot of things can be done online, so distance is no barrier to that. Without PoA you can't directly manage finances etc, but you can research options, book trades & services etc. fill in forms, keep medical notes up to date (for example keep an online record of medications, test results etc, whenever a new prescription is issued or test done your parents could send you a photo then you can make any updates needed, very handy for hospital visits because records still aren't as joined up as they should be).

Can you pay for something like cleaners, gardeners etc to do some of the physical work.

Meals on wheels/meal delivery service.
Cleaner.
Gardener.
Magazine/newspaper subscription.
Dog walker (If they have one).
Companionship-are there any old age groups/support in the area.

Talking to your DGPs and DA regularly might help. We find that the older ones in the family tell different things, so we all talk to one another so there's a better picture of what's going on.

Speaking to your DPs often too will help. They probably need to offload a bit and will appreciate talking to you.