95 year old grandfather wants to marry 40 year old

[Fedupwithfamily123]

Name changed for this as it's very embarrassing. 95 year old grandfather wants to marry 40 year old and change his will to leave 50% of everything he owns to the woman. He is very wealthy but unbelievably stingy. He made my mum and her siblings suffer to the level of almost starvation as children while he has several flats, houses, million pound businesses etc. there was also a lot of domestic violence involved.
they mended their relationship as adults (I don't know why) but the stinginess continues.
And then he suddenly comes up with this idea to marry this woman because he complains that he is lonely and he has no one to take care of him. It's not true because my mum is always there for him after all he did. he is very strong and healthy, still able to work.
I don't know what to expect from this thread. My poor mum is heartbroken and the financial element is secondary. She felt unloved her whole life with a father who would abuse them and my grandmother and now she is seeing him being loving, kind and generous with a random stranger.
Everyone who knows her thinks she is an angel and I hate seeing her suffer.

The wonders of viagra

Well it really isn't your business. He's allowed to make stupid choices. He's aware you all disapprove, now it is time to step back and leave him to it.

Ha ha ha! What 40 year old genuinely falls in love and wants to marry someone THAT old? Get real!

I doubt a 95 year old has capacity and the fact he is wanting to do this is reason to challenge his capacity

Isn't this something the police can alerted to?

My grandmother had full capacity until she was 98. Making stupid choices doesn't mean someone lacks capacity.

My main point was the first part "have you met her"
That might help you understand what is going on and stop it if it is wrong

Hmm. I'm 65. When you know you're at the far-end of life, you make different decisions than you would have done when younger. He might be thinking 'Here's my chance to be close with a warm, welcoming body. To have some physical and sexual comfort, when I'm not long for this world.'
And she's thinking 'Woohoo, rich old bloke, bound to die soon!'
Perfect match.

Do you think he will marry her, or is he just saying this to keep you all on your toes? Using his money as a threat and enjoying putting the wind up you all?

It's likely that he is doing this to keep everyone on the edge considering how toxic and abusive he is. He complained that none of his other children contacts him and they wouldn't even say thank you even if he left everything to them. They were beaten up regularly and severely as kids and adults by him for years so no wonder no one wants to talk to him. They sort of see his money as indemnity for putting up with lifelong abuse.

Sounds like he's using his money to control you all.

My widowed FIL does this. Threatens to move his female friend in if he doesn't feel he's getting enough attention or if DH hasn't visited enough. He enjoys thinking he's making everyone sweat.

All you can do is try not to take the bait. Does the 40 year old really want to marry him?

If he's that tightfisted he's unlikely to want to get married and share his assets if she did a flit in a few years. I would put money on him bluffing!!

If he is able to work then I’m guessing he has capacity. Just because some wants to make a stupid decision doesn’t stop them from having capacity.