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Elderly parents
Original poster

He's at end of life :(

38 replies

Bowbowbo · 05/04/2023 16:04

My DF is 89 and has been declared 'end of life' by medical profession. He's at home with carers, I live two hours away but am kept fully in the loop by the care agency and I handle the finances. I go down about twice a week but can't stay as there's no room. He's fully compos mentis and not scared etc, just pissed off that it's dragging on. It's that old classic, a rollercoaster, in terms of good days/bad days, short-term panics etc. I reckon it'll go on for weeks yet.

I'm just struggling with my emotions. Half of me desperately wants it to be over. The other half is terrified of how I will feel when he is no longer in my life, he's been a great dad. Any tips?

OP posts:
AluckyEllie · 22/04/2023 13:03

In his own bed, in his own house with the people he loves most and no pain. What a great way to go. Wishing you both the best

Original poster
Bowbowbo · 22/04/2023 15:05

You’re all so kind, thank you x And love to everyone who is going through this. It’s extraordinary x

OP posts:
Pegsmum · 22/04/2023 15:08

Holding you and your dad in my thoughts, be gentle to yourself x

Original poster
Bowbowbo · 22/04/2023 21:37

Thank you x

OP posts:
Original poster
Bowbowbo · 02/05/2023 23:31

An update: my darling dad died today, at home, surrounded by people who loved and admired him. I wasn’t there but that was fine, we had said our goodbyes. He had no pain and was peaceful to the end. Thank you to everyone who posted, you have helped me so, so much xx

OP posts:
Mochacino · 02/05/2023 23:33

Bowbowbo · 02/05/2023 23:31

An update: my darling dad died today, at home, surrounded by people who loved and admired him. I wasn’t there but that was fine, we had said our goodbyes. He had no pain and was peaceful to the end. Thank you to everyone who posted, you have helped me so, so much xx

May he rest in peace x

notgettinganyyounger · 02/05/2023 23:39

So sorry for your loss of your dear dad. Xxx

Pegsmum · 02/05/2023 23:44

Thinking of you, may your dad rest in peace x

WishIWasACavewoman · 02/05/2023 23:56

Sorry for your loss, and glad that your DDad had a peaceful death.

We lost mine last year. I couldn't be there (covid restrictions) but knew it was a release for him following a tough last few years. The grief was still overwhelming though, even though it was time (for him), and I miss him to this day, so I hope you're able to be gentle to yourself as you come to terms with it.

DuckDuckNo · 02/05/2023 23:56

I am sorry for your loss. I'm glad he had a peaceful passing.
Be gentle to yourself at this time.

Scarletthoo2 · 03/05/2023 00:54

So sorry for the loss of your Darling Dad OP. Sending lots of virtual hugs. You got this x

Borntobeamum · 03/05/2023 09:11

Thinking of you and sending condolences x

MereDintofPandiculation · 03/05/2023 09:18

Sorry for your loss. Glad it was a peaceful ending

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