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Elderly parents
Original poster

Restrictions being lifted... what will it mean for care homes?

51 replies

NormaLouiseBates · 20/01/2022 08:32

I know it's impossible to say for sure but does anyone have any thoughts on what the plans for care homes might be following the lifting of Covid restrictions?

My mum is in a nursing home that's been in "outbreak" since the end of December so I'm the only person allowed to visit her. It's exhausting, stressful and expensive (I don't drive so it costs me £30 a day in Ubers).

I don't know if I'm just being selfish though in hoping the visiting rules will be relaxed enough for my brother to be able to share the load a bit. I have to have a PCR weekly and take a LFT before every visit so what's the difference in him doing the same?

OP posts:
MereDintofPandiculation · 20/01/2022 09:08

They said that the rules on care homes would be relaxed and would be rewritten over the next few days.

Have you got the official “care giver” status? I can’t see my father at the moment because the home is closed because of a covid case. But since Plan B came in it’s been 3 designated visitors, and we’ve had to choose between his much loved grandson and partner and his chiropodist. Hopefully that ruling will go.

Really the rules don’t make sense at the moment. If there’s a case in the home, then the transmission risk is outward, and we’re all allowed to take our chances in other every aspect of our lives so why not care home visiting?

Original poster
NormaLouiseBates · 20/01/2022 09:41

I watched the press conference with Sajid Javid last night hoping he might say something but it was just him patting himself on the back for 15 minutes about what a good job the government had done 🙄😳

Yes I've got "care giver" status so am able to visit whenever I want to. Are you not able to see your Dad at all @MereDintofPandiculation? Is someone else his care giver person? 😢

I couldn't agree more... the current rules make no sense at all.

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IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 21/01/2022 00:24

Here in our corner of Wales they have suddenly clamped down on visiting. Just one visitor once a week. Although the matron did say on the phone yesterday that it would only be for a week or two.

BunnyRuddington · 21/01/2022 07:49

DMIL is in a care home in England and has had no visitors for a few weeks now due to outbreaks in the home. Not even one visitor.

toomuchlaundry · 21/01/2022 07:52

Do you visit every day?

MereDintofPandiculation · 21/01/2022 08:37

I haven’t asked for care giver status. Wasn’t aware of it in the long lockdowns, and my father has enough cognition to understand why I’m not visiting. He’s able to read and understand my letters. I suppose I feel I’d be taking the piss to argue that I was an essential care giver, he doesn’t need me for physical care, and mentally he’s coping very well. Doesn’t stop me ranting about the illogicality of the lockdowns though.

Original poster
NormaLouiseBates · 21/01/2022 08:46

@BunnyRuddington

DMIL is in a care home in England and has had no visitors for a few weeks now due to outbreaks in the home. Not even one visitor.
That's bullshit. Let me see if I can find it on the gov. website.
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Original poster
NormaLouiseBates · 21/01/2022 08:46

@toomuchlaundry

Do you visit every day?
Not every day no, I couldn't afford it even I wanted to. I go 3 or 4 times a week at the moment.
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Original poster
NormaLouiseBates · 21/01/2022 08:50

@BunnyRuddington

DMIL is in a care home in England and has had no visitors for a few weeks now due to outbreaks in the home. Not even one visitor.
Here it is.

@MereDintofPandiculation it's not just for providing care (I don't do anything physically for my mum when I'm there apart from maybe give her a drink), it's about providing companionship too.

Restrictions being lifted... what will it mean for care homes?
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HunkyPunk · 21/01/2022 09:04

I can’t help thinking that some care homes prefer it when relatives aren’t allowed in because ‘Covid’ (the catch-all that no-one can argue with). But then, in my experience, care homes are often hell on earth for some residents, so I’m afraid I am very cynical about motives. As pp have said, the rules seem to be different for each care home, and don’t always make sense, often contravening government guidance.

Toddlerteaplease · 21/01/2022 09:12

My friends care home has completely stopped visiting because staff were positive. I've not seen him since before Christmas.

Original poster
NormaLouiseBates · 21/01/2022 10:57

@Toddlerteaplease

My friends care home has completely stopped visiting because staff were positive. I've not seen him since before Christmas.
It's not right. It's been well proven and documented how important visitors are for people's mental health. Does he at least have one nominated visitor that's able to go in and see him?
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Knotaknitter · 21/01/2022 11:29

I've not seen my mother in law since before Christmas as it has been closed to visitors since then. She won't have had a visitor at all as her daughter hasn't got around to being designated as the essential carer.

Kaftanesque · 21/01/2022 21:34

Today I feel quiet angry.Mums care home failed to mention that she was entitled to an essential carer as a visitor.My siblings and myself were her nominated 3 visitors up to Boxing day but we've not been able to visit since then.I felt grateful that I was able to see her last week as she had to attend an audiology appointment at hospital as she's terribly deaf and needed a new hearing aid ,and as it had taken weeks to arrange they said it was a priority and I could take her. I only knew about her right to an essential carer for 'companionship and support ' by reading care home guidelines and consulting residents and relative support groups.And yet when I mentioned it the home manager said that's something we could consider in the future.Now we've had an email to say 3 residents have tested positive -previously we were told it was just 2 staff that necessitated the shutdown.So whilst ever testing continues this go go on for weeks or more.
I'm going to have to push to gain access to my 99 year old mum aren't I ?I fail to see why if I'm triple jabbed with a negative test I pose more of a threat than the hairdresser that's still allowed for 'residents morale 'as I was told last week.

Original poster
NormaLouiseBates · 22/01/2022 08:06

@Kaftanesque

Today I feel quiet angry.Mums care home failed to mention that she was entitled to an essential carer as a visitor.My siblings and myself were her nominated 3 visitors up to Boxing day but we've not been able to visit since then.I felt grateful that I was able to see her last week as she had to attend an audiology appointment at hospital as she's terribly deaf and needed a new hearing aid ,and as it had taken weeks to arrange they said it was a priority and I could take her. I only knew about her right to an essential carer for 'companionship and support ' by reading care home guidelines and consulting residents and relative support groups.And yet when I mentioned it the home manager said that's something we could consider in the future.Now we've had an email to say 3 residents have tested positive -previously we were told it was just 2 staff that necessitated the shutdown.So whilst ever testing continues this go go on for weeks or more. I'm going to have to push to gain access to my 99 year old mum aren't I ?I fail to see why if I'm triple jabbed with a negative test I pose more of a threat than the hairdresser that's still allowed for 'residents morale 'as I was told last week.
I would be, as politely as possible, creating merry hell if I were in your position. Your mum is 99? It's beyond unreasonable that they won't let you visit as her essential carer. I would quote that bit from the gov.uk website... email it to them, print it off and take it up there with you. Don't let this go, it's not right. I am angry on your behalf.
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MereDintofPandiculation · 22/01/2022 09:10

@NormaLouiseBates thanks, yes I’ve seen that.. At the moment I’d find it hard to argue that he needed me there even for care and companionship, and I wouldn’t be there more than once a week. It’s complicated. DH is currently being diagnosed for probable cancer, so trying to get my head around the changes to our future.There’s only so much I can take

Original poster
NormaLouiseBates · 22/01/2022 10:15

@MereDintofPandiculation I get that, I really do. It's like "come on life, what else do you really think I can deal with right now?"

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MereDintofPandiculation · 23/01/2022 10:21

Just heard that home is closed for at least another two weeks, so asked about essential caregiver status. She’s going to talk to my father. Depending on DH health it may be academic.

Mum5net · 23/01/2022 17:18

@MereDintofPandiculation sorry to hear that regarding your DH
Our care home now opening four days earlier because of change in guidance.

Snugglepiggy · 26/01/2022 17:29

Just an update to those good enough to post support. Today I actually got to visit mum and it was wonderful to hold her hand and see her hand and chat whilst she demolished a big piece of cake.So now I have Essential carer status and the home have said I can go whenever as long as I do their weekly PCR test and lateral flows.They were welcoming but if I hadn't stood my ground there's no doubt I still wouldn't be seeing her.Even if it was only once a week I would say go for status Mere .It starts to really get to you feeling they are so inaccessible doesn't it ?

Original poster
NormaLouiseBates · 27/01/2022 07:24

@Snugglepiggy that's lovely to hear, I'm so pleased for you. You shouldn't have had to fight for it in the first place of course.

It's been a week since the announcement about the lifting of restrictions yet there has still been no update to care home visiting. I'm just so frustrated. It might sound selfish but I just want some other family members to be able to take some of the visiting pressure off me a little.

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StarCat2020 · 27/01/2022 08:00

All care home visiting restrctns gone from Monday apparently

Vickyp1990 · 27/01/2022 08:02

I work in a care home and as you stated we currently allow one visitor even in outbreak as we feel its important for the mental health to have family contact. I Imagine once the rules are lifted we will go back to pre lockdown rules for more visitors but still with testing for each visit. We also don't alow the family to be in the same room as other residents so we either suggest the bedroom or if there is an available empty lounge

Vickyp1990 · 27/01/2022 08:03

Could you maybe request to swap that he be the main named person for a short while if there are no changes. As long as only one person comes I don't see the issue in requesting a swap

StarCat2020 · 27/01/2022 08:05

I Imagine once the rules are lifted we will go back to pre lockdown rules for more visitors but still with testing for each visit
Sounds sensible but news is reporting end of all visiting restrictions (seems mad)