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Elderly parents

Hospital rang about my dad.

9 replies

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 15/08/2021 21:02

My elderly father, 86 ,who was a full time carer to my mother was admitted to hospital six weeks ago with what we thought was a breakdown.
Since being admitted he has got over a kidney infection, pneumonia but two weeks ago he had black tar stools so endoscopy was done, no reason for bleeding was found. On thursday hospital rang and had long chat, they will do no further investigations as he is too sick to tolerate prep for colonoscopy and surgery wouldn't be offered anyay, they suspect a tumour in lower digestive tract. He has needed 3 units of blood because of anaemia. They have discussed end of life care and he is refusing further transfusions if needed once he is home. He has asked to go home and staff are trying to get that sorted.
I am going to see him tomorrow, wish he was not so far away, it is a 5 hour round trip.
I am so upset because my controlling mother has not enabled him to speak to me much over the last few months and i had no idea he was so bad.

OP posts:
PinniGig · 15/08/2021 21:09
Flowers
MaggieFS · 15/08/2021 21:11

I'm so sorry OP, I hope you get some really good time with him tomorrow.

Theunamedcat · 15/08/2021 21:11

I'm so sorry can you see him before he goes home? So outside of your mother's control?

Cactuslockdown · 15/08/2021 21:11

Flowers sorry OP

DoingItMyself · 15/08/2021 21:13

I am very sorry, @NK346f2849X127d8bca260.
I hope you get some time with him tomorrow.

myheartskippedabeat · 15/08/2021 21:15

@NK346f2849X127d8bca260

I'm so sorry to read this I hope you get some time with him and get to fulfil his wishes

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 15/08/2021 21:29

Theunnamedcat
Going to see him in hospital, my mother is now in care home and will be staying there. Hoping he spends some time at home so we can all see him there too.

OP posts:
sittingonacornflake · 15/08/2021 21:32

Oh OP I am so, so, so sorry to read this. I hope you can enjoy some quality time with him soon. And my heart so truly and absolutely goes out to you BiscuitThanks

Mum5net · 15/08/2021 22:46

If you can find time also write him a little letter. Even just a dozen lines telling him how you feel. If you don’t get enough 1-to-1 opportunity the letter is something he can look at and read when you are not together.

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