In laws need carers to visit at home - best way to go about this?

[Lottapianos]

In laws are both medically unwell. She has just come out of hospital (heart failure, possible COPD, poorly managed diabetes), he is likely to be admitted tomorrow (heart failure, cirrhosis, ascites amongst other things). Neither of them are fit to do daily tasks like shopping, cooking, laundry, cleaning.

What is the best way to go about arranging carers to visit once or twice a day? They live in Cornwall (we're in London) and I'm planning to do a social care referral via the council, but would value any advice or experiences. Thanks

the social worker in the hospital should have done an assessment and set something up for her safe care before she was discharged from hospital.
make sure you ask for this re FIL.
you could contact an agency such as bluebird that has branches all over.
but are they going to be paying for it themselves.
the local council can do a care needs assessment and financial assessment.
are there no relatives nearer who could help them in liaising with these agencies.
hope they will be ok.

Ring adult social care and arrange an assessment of their life need. They will advice the minimum that they need and will give you a list of providers to choose from if they are finding their own care. If FIL does go the hospital then ring the hospital and explain it’s not safe for him at home.

This is something that the hospital social worker would have done prior to your mother's discharge. It may be that she's told them that she has your father at home and he will do everything for her so there's no need for any intervention. If you ring the hospital, ask for the hospital social work team and give your mother's details that would be a start (they are "the council" and would have checked that your mum had a safe environment to return home to before she left hospital).

When mum left hospital, the SW team had organised a key safe on the wall inside four hours, organised a fall alarm installation for the following week and had care set up from the evening she went home. It's what they do all the time and they are really good at it.

Thanks for advice. I spoke to ward staff every day that she was in hospital and stressed how concerned we were about her returning home, and how ill her husband was. No one ever mentioned a social worker assessment, in fact the OT she saw was perfectly happy with how she was managing

We are going to visit tomorrow for a few days and will get on to local social care on Monday

The OT would be happy for this on discharge as they are domestic tasks. Carers do personal care and meals.

You need domestic support and this wouldn't be funded by the council except in exceptional circumstances. Claim for attendance allowance and approach some agencies, the council usually have a list on their website.

If your parents are self-finders (savings of over £23,250 EACH) then I'd skip social services and arrange it yourself.

There will be a local care brokerage service but start with this:

www.carechoices.co.uk/publication/cornwall-care-services-directory/

You can't just put carers in without their consent though, which is often the hard part! If they think they are fine and coping it could be a battle.

Good luck.

'You can't just put carers in without their consent though, which is often the hard part!'

Oh tell me about it! We have had our share of battles over this but I think they have both been so unwell recently that they're starting to see the need for extra support. They do have savings so I think your suggestion about approaching a care service directly is a good one

The hospital OT said she was fine on stairs because she only had to pause once for 10 seconds halfway up and again at the top. The only bathroom in the house is upstairs and I know that MIL has been avoiding going because she finds the stairs too much. We're having a stairlift fitted end of next week so that should help her enormously

Also, ring the GP surgery and ask whether there is a local heart nurse service - some places (e.g. where my Mum lived) have a service where nurses visit heart failure patients in the community (Mum loved hers as they worked together to keep her out of hospital where possible).

You need to push SS. They will try and put everything on you.

Whereabouts in Cornwall are they? We used a small care company in Cornwall for my mum after she came out of hospital having had a stroke. We were self funding though, so didn't go through SC. They only had a small number of carers and mum had the rota so she knew exactly who was coming each time (2 carers, 4 times a day!). Many of the carers built up a good relationship with mum, so much so that some of them came to her funeral. If you need any other info please message me.

Hi Cutlery, they're in Bude

The GP has been utter shit so far. I'm going to try to get him admitted today, just not prepared to leave him in such a state at home until Monday. We're going to visit tomorrow for a few days

@Lottapianos It's so difficult to arrange everything from a distance isn't it. The care company we used was in St Austell, so too far for Bude unfortunately.

It's bloody awful. Got extremely unwell FIL flat out refusing to go to hospital today. It's maddening

I am Northwest but I recently got a home help for a parent from Home Instead who are a franchise. I can see there is one covering Bude. So far they have been very professional. Cost is £26 for a one hour visit. They were very swift setting up the first contact.

Thanks for that, really good to know. Can I ask what sort of care they provide for your relative? I think my in laws would need one visit a day for meal prep and cooking. They are independent with washing, dressing, personal care so far. Going to organise a weekly cleaner as well, and an online grocery delivery

I checked out hot meal delivery services in bude Cornwall , looks like there might be a local run one called Kirsty's kitchen

mealsonwheelscornwall.co.uk/

Might be worth asking them if they cover mum and dads area?
Your parents might be more amenable to that service . Once they get used to that and having a cleaner who does housework/ laundry, you might find it easier to discuss care less visits if or when either needs personal care assistance too in the future

Well done for getting stair lift arranged

*Carer visits
Not "care less visits"

Sheesh that was quite an auto incorrect

If your parents don't need personal care or support with meds, then Adult Social Care won't arrange support.

They don't need a Care Worker, they need home help/domestic services, which they will have to arrange themselves. Many Care agencies offer domestic services as well as personal care.

Thanks notwaving - she doesn't cover the ILs area but there is a similar service local to them

Am hoping that we will get FIL into hospital on Monday. Will discuss meals on wheels and cleaner with MIL, and see what she thinks of home help as well. She's very intimidated by overbearing FIL so will be a chance to see what she needs

@Lottapianos I had real problems identifying non medical home help in my area. It took me ages including a fruitless call to
age UK and some help from a well-being advisor in the GP surgery. Some Authorities publish lists but mine did not. Home instead do cleaning, ironing, carrying things upstairs, meal prep, shopping, emptying bins, changing bed linen, companionship. More flexible than a cleaner. They said anything apart from climbing ladders. It is expensive at £26 an hour however I got attendance allowance for my parent so at the moment we spend just that.

That sounds great, thanks Zolrets. Will look into attendance allowance

Home Instead are excellent.

@Lottapianos applying for attendance allowance isn’t a quick thing. You need to fill the form in very carefully to ensure you do not understate their needs. There is lots of advice on here about it including the recommendation to get the help of Age UK or similar. I didn’t but had seen a couple of other applications. It is not means tested and as ‘free money’ it can be a lever to push the care route through. The care I’ve bought for my parent with it is great however, it still doesn’t make that parent able to live without my regular intervention.

I had a quick look this morning. Looks like you have to have a disability, and not just mobility problems or general health problems. They probably wouldn't be eligible but will double check

It doesn’t have to be a disability in the sense of the Disability discrimination legislation. The heart failure would do. I think it has to last for at least 6 months, my memory is you couldn’t get it until 6 months after the disability started. Do get help filling in the form. It’s very hard to realise the full extent of needs because of all the adjustments that have already been made, and there are certain ways of phrasing things that will be understood better. I believe AgeUK can help. I got help from a retired social worker friend