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Elderly parents
Original poster

5 hours wait for an ambulance and counting

55 replies

FredaFox · 20/06/2021 01:10

Not sure what else to say, my mum has mobility issues and today literally cannot walk, she also has incontinence which means frequent trips to the toilet
At 830 as much as I tried to get her to the toilet she couldn't move so I rang an ambulance, busy and could be up to 2 hours wait, fine we understood
5 hours later still no sign, my mums dignity is shot, she's wet herself, now unfortunately she's soiled herself
She's in agony trying not to wee as worried her continue pad will overflow
Don't know what to do, I'm helpless, I can't do anything for her, just here to rant really
I know the nhs is strained beyond belief and it's not their fault but this is heartbreaking

OP posts:
Ostara212 · 20/06/2021 01:19

I'm sorry
I don't have experience of this in particular but one time my dad and uncle put gran in the car to A&E and carried her in rather than wait for an ambulance.

Is there anyone who would do that or is it not right to move her?

WeAllHaveWings · 20/06/2021 01:20

Sounds really hard. can you set something up and let her relieve herself. Shower curtain on the mattress / multiple pads/lots of towels and then clean her up after. Not dignified but better than being in pain while you wait.

Original poster
FredaFox · 20/06/2021 01:29

@Ostara212 I don't have anyone to help unfortunately. she's been housebound for 18 months.

Just wish they would hurry up, we've already packed a bag as expect she will be admitted

OP posts:
Original poster
FredaFox · 20/06/2021 01:32

@WeAllHaveWings it's too late for that, shes already been. she's actually sat in the lounge.
She can't stand for more than a few seconds but I'm going try to and swap her incontinence pad and clean her up until they come and I can get her in the bathroom

Thanks both of you for replying

OP posts:
25yearsnhsworker · 20/06/2021 01:35

If she is sat in urine she will get cold so try and dry her a bit. Ask her to try and move side to side to get pad out and new one in.
Is it worth checking you are still on the ambulance radar?

lljkk · 20/06/2021 01:42

Hang in there, Freda.

WendyWoofer · 20/06/2021 01:42

Can you change her pad? If DM is immobile does she have a wheelchair you could use to transport her to a car to travel into hospital? If not can you ask on FB if someone has a wheelchair you can borrow? It’s not ideal but the ambulance service is stretched to capacity at the moment and will prioritise cases. Your DM will be seen much more quickly if you can take her in using private transport.

OytheBumbler · 20/06/2021 01:44

🤞the ambulance arrives soon.

No advice. I know the ambulance service is pretty much non-existent at the moment. I hope your DM gets seen tonight.

Thanks
Original poster
FredaFox · 20/06/2021 01:48

@WendyWoofer we have a chair, we have used it all day to ferry her about, my issue now is she can't stand at all so I can't get her into the chair
I 100% accept the ambulance service are stretched, my mum was a nurse for years so fully understand the challenges, this is no criticism, they do a great job with limited resources, I'm just worried for my mum, worried what's wrong, worried she might get covid in hospital

OP posts:
Imnotaslimjim · 20/06/2021 01:58

What a horrifically stressful time for you both. I went through similar last year. My dad had a kidney stone stuck in his urethra and couldn't pass urine. He was either screaming or unconscious from the pain. He desperately needed to wee but nothing would come out. We waited 2.5 hours for an ambulance. It was so hard seeing him so distressed. I hope the ambulance comes soon and you get some answers for your mum Flowers

Rainbowqueeen · 20/06/2021 02:02

Can you call back and ask for an update?

WendyWoofer · 20/06/2021 02:06

@WendyWoofer we have a chair, we have used it all day to ferry her about, my issue now is she can't stand at all so I can't get her into the chair
I 100% accept the ambulance service are stretched, my mum was a nurse for years so fully understand the challenges, this is no criticism, they do a great job with limited resources, I'm just worried for my mum, worried what's wrong, worried she might get covid in hospital

TBH in your position I would ask neighbours to help you get your mother into a car and take her to hospital yourself. I did this when my father went into heart failure and no sign of the ambulance after 2 hours.

If your mother is going to get covid in hospital she will get it whether you transport her or you wait all night for an ambulance to transport her. They won’t put her on a ward with covid patients though.

Hope your mum gets the treatment she needs soon

ThatsNotMyReindeer · 20/06/2021 02:06

Wheelchair accessible taxi?

Topseyt · 20/06/2021 02:15

Have you phoned again to make 100% sure you really are in the system and to absolutely stress how urgent this now is. It isn't impossible that you can drop out of the system or not have been properly logged in it.

Yes, they are busy and often stretched, but you are receiving no service at all. Your mother is ill and her dignity has gone. Changing an incontinence pad or adult nappy on a person who is not able to be self-supporting without proper help and support is a nearly impossible task. Believe me I know. We were there with my Dad earlier this year.

You need greater priority. Personally, I find that it is all too often he who shouts loudest who gets noticed. Make sure you start doing that shouting. You've been forgotten about and left aside. It isn't good enough.

Emelene · 20/06/2021 02:53

So sorry to hear about your mum. I would phone again too - it sounds like she’s got worse during the wait and I think they’d want to know?

suddengate · 20/06/2021 03:01

No advice OP, but just wanted to say what a lovely daughter you are, your mum must be proud of you (although I know if she is in sound mind this will be an embarrassing situation for her) ❤

Original poster
FredaFox · 20/06/2021 03:07

I've already rang and we are next apparently, obviously emergency depending. It's just a very busy night and as her difficulty isn't life threatening shes not
high priority. I do understand.
She's in good spirts, really wants to go the toilet properly but she's holding up well, thanks again for your support

@Topseyt you are very right about being vocal but noted.
@Imnotaslimjim I hope your dad is feeling better, feeling helpless is so difficult, if do anything to make her feel better
@ThatsNotMyReindeer I wouldn't get her in a chair now she's too weak

OP posts:
Original poster
FredaFox · 20/06/2021 03:09

@suddengate thank you, yes shes of sound mind, she has a neurological condition so her top half is fine just lower limbs affected. She will be embarrassed when they come in sure

OP posts:
IAmDaveTheSerialShagger · 20/06/2021 03:13

With respect it's not the Ambulance Services job to take your mum to the toilet, it's neither life threatening or valid enough reason to even call them.

Original poster
FredaFox · 20/06/2021 03:26

@IAmDaveTheSerialShagger with respect that's not why I've called an ambulance she can't stand up let alone walk, her legs won't go so with respect if you read my original post I refer to her inability to work, the continence issue is a secondary side affect

I hope none of your loved ones are ever in pain, discomfort or suffer from neurological illnesses as you clearly have no empathy.

OP posts:
Lollypop701 · 20/06/2021 03:29

@IAmDaveTheSerialShagger I disagree. She can’t move. It’s a serious change and needs evaluation.

Jent13c · 20/06/2021 03:35

Totally impossible to change someone's pad in a chair, easier if she was in bed. If you have a second person get in really close to her (so when you stand her shoulder is touching your sternum). She might be able to get up with the assistance of 2 (though realistically much harder in a big recliner chair). When she is standing try and change her pad without moving her away from the chair so if she falls she will only fall as far as the chair.

Lovely to see a family so involved. Horrible that she's had as long to wait. Sadly just the nature of things of weekend evenings.

fifteenmillionmerits · 20/06/2021 03:40

IAmDaveTheSerialShagger ffs did you even read the OP's original post properly? So sorry your mum is going through this OP, hope ambulance arrives soon. Hang in there. Flowers

Original poster
FredaFox · 20/06/2021 05:34

So they have been, she's had a good wash, finally used the toilet properly so feels better and she's now on her way to hospital as they need to investigate her lack of walking. Could be a few things.
I can't go with her so hopefully I hear from her soon, she has her phone and charger with her,

Thank you for everyone's kindness tonight, you are all amazing

OP posts:
Trumpton · 20/06/2021 05:53

I was awake during the night as read your post.
I am so pleased she is clean and comfortable and on her to hospital. I do hope she improves quickly.
Now see if you can grab some sleep, you can’t pour from an empty jug. Look after yourself.

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