An emotional afternoon

[pudcat]

I went to a carol concert at Mum's NH today. It was lovely - there were handbell ringers - 2 different types. We sang lots of carols. Mum tried to join in. A young lad played God Rest Ye merry Gentlemen on the violin. Mum loved this but it made her tearful. This started me off. I don't think Mum realises it is Christmas. I wished her a Happy Christmas as I will not visit again til Boxing Day (My sister is going on Christmas Eve.), and she just said Cheerio. And then it hit me. Might be her last Christmas. I got in the car and sobbed my heart out. And I am still tearful now.

Oh pudcat. You must be feeling so sad. Has your mum only just recently moved there?

It sounds like a great nursing home to have organised such a lovely afternoon and to have invited family, too.

I can't help at all, but, I'm sure she'll have a nice day, and though it's no consolation to you, if she's unaware that it's Christmas, she won't be expecting a visit and it will come as a nice surprise when you see her on boxing day.

My DH's two grandparents aren't local. One is in a home that is just awful (we would like her to move, but it's not our decision,) and the other really should be in a home but lives on her own, again it's not our decision or right to change the situation.

It's likely that they'll both have a pretty miserable Christmas tbh, which is just a wretched thought.

I can tell it's going to be tough and tinged with sadness, but try and enjoy your Christmas, and rest assured that your mum will have a lovely day with people who care about her. Do you have young DCs, OP? They're great for taking your mind off things!

Thank you. Mum moved there in May - before that she was 10 mins away in a CH for the last 7 Christmases, and I could just pop in. Now it is 50 mins or so away. There were no places near here when we told she needed a NH so we opted for halfway between my sister and me. It was thought that she only had a few weeks to live, but she has rallied round and is still with us. My grandchildren with my oldest son and wife will be here Christmas Eve for tea, and then my other son and his American wife on Christmas Day. The NH is lovely - the staff are wonderful and Mum is happy there. It is in the same group as her CH was. I feel better about it today, and we will open her presents on Boxing Day. I will be able to stay longer with her as well, as I have had to get back to cook the dinner in other years.

You must worry about your gps - so sorry that the home is not good. Can you get an inspection done? Take care.

Oh pudcat glad you're feeling better - your son & DIL on Christmas day and grandchildren on Christmas Eve sounds lovely.

I've got good news, too, my DH's gran has actually made it to my MIL's for Christmas, and we saw her yesterday . When I posted we were certain that she wouldn't be coming. She's a lovely lady, I'm so glad that she's local to us for a few days.

The home is under investigation..but I can not believe she's still there. If it was up to me she'd move nearer to us. She has a lot of fami ly near to us. If she was my gran, there's no way she'd still be there, but me and DH have tried to persuade her and other family members but nothing ever gets done .

Hope you have a lovely Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day!

Pudcat, lovely post. This is bereavement in one thousand slices. However you will be able to look back an know you did everything you could to make her last days as happy as they could be.

Happy Christmas to you and to Misfitless, and everyone else.

Ty both. Mum now has a chest infection and on more ABs. I rang the NH today and they said she is not too bad. There was no need for me to go rushing over. My sister managed to see her yesterday but when she got home her husband was ill so she had to get him to the drs. I hope everyone manages to have a lovely day tomorrow. I wonder if Mum will remember that it was my Dad's birthday.

Sorry to hear that Pudcat, you must have missed both your parents very much.

How was your Christmas Day? I know you mentioned you were seeing your mum today - hope you had a lovely time. I'm sure it will have been tinged with sadness, it's very poignant, isn't it, when loved ones get old and ill. My DH's gran isn't ill as such, but has Alzeimer's (sp?) and is very elderly.

My DH's mum and Grandma came to our house for an hour or so on Christmas Day morning. It was very special for me to see my DCs spending time with their Great Gran. I managed to get some lovely photos of them together.

Echoing what you were saying the other day, I was thinking, this might be her last Christmas...I wanted to stop the clock.

Well I went to see Mum today. She was very agitated and shouting all the time. She thought I was my sister. She is not eating again. How much longer can this go on for?

All in all Christmas was OK. We had a lovely Christmas Eve tea here with grandchildren, but they all had to go at 7pm as d in l had a phone call from her Mum to go there as she was having her dog put to sleep. So off they all went. Lovely day with other son and wife Christmas Day. Quiet and played trivial pursuits.

When Mum wasn't agitated she was way back in time today and talking about her Aunt as if it was now. She was then actually holding a conversation with someone she called the boss, but she was both people.

My sister is supposed to be going tomorrow and I will go at the weekend again. The NH gave her a lovely cardigan from Bon Marche for Christmas. We are so lucky to have her in there.

My youngest son made us all laugh. We were talking about some event that is going to happen hundreds of years in the future and I said we won't be around for it. He said No we won't but I bet Nanna will. All the times we think this is the end and she rallies round again ..... well we have lost count. Hope everyone managed to enjoy the day.