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Elderly parents

Can my mum get more help for my dad?

7 replies

CheeryCherry · 17/05/2013 19:20

My dad has early onset dementia, prostrate cancer and is diabetic. My mum does everything for him in the house, but they are both 80 and it is taking its toll on her. He now argues and struggles every time he has to test his blood...which is at least twice a day as he adjusts his insulin to suit. How can she get more help? I have no idea where to start? Thank you.

OP posts:
ISingSoprano · 17/05/2013 19:27

Firstly, do you have Power of Attorney for your parents? If not, I strongly recommend you look into it.

Secondly, you should speak to your parents GP - preferably with their knowledge and consent. The GP will be able to offer advice and referral to local services.

My parents are needing more help now too so I empathise!

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 17/05/2013 19:27

Has your Dad got Social worker ? I emailed SS which started the ball rolling . But I had support from a lady at the surgery who is a 'Tracker Nurse. Her job is to make sure people have the help they need to avoid hospital admissions. Might be worth speaking to the surgery and explaining the situation.

CheeryCherry · 17/05/2013 20:35

ISingyes we have recently done that, their gp recommended it. I will speak to the surgery, my mum is too proud to ask for help.
Wynken no there is no social worker yet. Never heard of the Tracker Nurse, but will ask thank you.
Will he still be entitled to help with my mum living there?

OP posts:
whataboutbob · 17/05/2013 22:18

He should be able to get Attendance Allowance. You can order the form over the phone and they'll backdate payments to the day they sent the form out. You can fill it in for him. It is not means tested but requires a GPs supporting statement. There are 2 bands, I got the lower one for my Dad quite easily. He has similar problems to yours.
Your Mum may be entitled to carers allowance, but I don't know so much about that one.

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 17/05/2013 22:26

I think maybe she or you on her behalf needs to contact SS and say she is not coping and becoming increasingly unable to test his blood sugar to control his diabetes. It will be possible to get care but you 'll have to push a bit eg you say you are very concerned for your Mother's health. She is entitled to a Carer's Assessment which would be a good idea in the circumstances .

I emailed SS to get the ball rolling. Mum has a care package and pays a certain amount each month which is covered by Attendance Allowance. Also with Dementia some councils give a discount in council tax if a benefit such as Attendance Allowance is claimed. How much paid towards a care package depends on their savings.

Does your Dad attend a Memory Clinic ? The nurses there have been very helpful . I posted in despair in November before Mum was diagnosed with Dementia, she had bad legs. People told me to contact SS which seemed like a massive step but I has definitely been worth doing. She's on SW number 3 but this one is attached to the Memory Clinic and on the ball. Sorry you're going through this.

CheeryCherry · 18/05/2013 09:04

Wynkyn yes I got them to apply for attendance allowance, he is on the higher rate. I am seeing them today so will mention the SS and referring them. He is seeing the gp this week about his memory...can I ask - what was wrong with your mums legs? My dad is dragging his feet and complaining his legs hurt, it has been linked to his dementia.
Thank you all, you are giving me some hope. I hate to see my mum struggling with the frustration and stress.

OP posts:
WynkenBlynkenandNod · 19/05/2013 07:29

My Mum has cellulitis.. It's kept under control with a regime but she couldn't remember what she was told to do. She dies struggle to walk though which I think is due to the TIA's affecting her balance.

That's good he's got the higher rate. I'll keep my fingers crossed they are open to the idea of SS, good luck.

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