Suitable retorts for bullies

[jampots]

DS is leaving his school tomorrow due partly to bullying. The main offender seems to have slowed right down now and isnt causing too much of a problem, but 2 others still say horrid things to ds and hit him. So, armed with the reasoning that he cant get into TOO much trouble tomorrow, he wants to let them know what he really thinks of them.

So,

Declan: calls ds fat, tells him to get off chairs cos he's so heavy he'll break them, and hits him over the head and in his stomach.

Ben: calls ds fatty and makes other horrid (but undisclosed) comments to him. Tripped him up the other week and caused him to bang his head on the wall - lied when questioned about it., does apparently have ADHD

George: Initial perpetrator included hitting, kicking, punching, pushing, etc etc - generally physical less verbal.

SO suitable retorts please SHOULD the need arise but as these comments are virtually daily I am expecting ds to have to use retort.


The comments ds has decided on so far:

Declan - "how does it feel to be the fattest kid in the class now"

[Gobbledigook]

PMSL Tanzie!

Aye hmc - GetOrlaithOut twas me, GDG!

[Tanzie]

Yes, she's gone on holiday, I think.

[Tortington]

are you back yet>?

[Tortington]

.

[Chandra]

oh Jampots, I'm very worried now about our lack of response, hope things are OK at that front.

[Chandra]

our?? your lack of response, I meant...

[nightowl]

hiya jampots. i moved my ds back to his old school a couple of weeks ago due to bullying (i REALLY didnt know how rough our local school was until he went there) on his last day i told him to say ANYTHING he wanted to his bullies. wrong maybe, but it didnt really matter imo. hes not ever going back there again. i know lots of mumsnetters wont agree with me but ive been bullied too and wished i had stood up for myself when i had the chance. on this one occasion i really would have turned a blind eye to what ds said. the kids at that school are racist, violent and truly horrible.

i hope everything has gone well for your ds. all our best wishes xx

[jampots]

sorry - have been away and i've only just seen this.

Nothing too exciting happened on the last day of term other than a little bit of "fatty" calling and so ds told Declan that he looked pregnant! That's all.

[Tortington]

lol - ok, thanks