Changing Secondary School

[ABCBW]

Hi,
My son is 13 & in Year 8. His secondary school is not great, although it's not terrible. I have been thinking about maybe moving him to a private school as I'm not happy with this one - my chief moans about it are:

Hardly ever gets any homework
no school trips ever
no after school clubs or extra curricular stuff
school happily accepts scruffy uniforms, scruffy writing & presentation of work
No possiblity to do individual GSCEs in the 3 sciences
No gifted & talented
No taking of GCSEs early (many state schools
No study of AS levels early

My son is bright, but lazy & as the school appears happy not to strech him or demand too much he is more than happy to go along with that! The problem is that he likes the school a lot & is very happy there, mostly because he has lots of friends there. He has become hysterical at even raising the prospect of leaving.

I don't know what to do! I feel I have to look to the longterm as a parent, but worry that a move might upset him too much. Does anyone have any experience or advice?

Do you live in area where there are not a lot of state secondary schools to chose from? If so they have wide catchment area and that would explain lax attitudes to things like uniform etc. If there are other sec schools around, have you been to see them to see what they are like? Current school might not be so bad after all!

Can you afford private? Its not something to be undertaken lightly. If so then go visit some and get a feel for them, doesn't commit you to anything and might help straighten some things out in your own mind.

Good luck

If he is that anxious to stay at his present school maybe you could do a deal with him?

He gets to stay but on condition that he keeps neat and clean and works hard enough to make you feel he is getting something out of his studies (you need to set specific achievable targets). Extra curricular stuff would probably be cheaper for you to organise (or for him to organise for himself) than the private school fees so I wouldn't move him for that alone. But I would like to see that he was not using this school as an excuse for coasting.

Have you actually got a private school in mind and if so do you know it solves all your moans (many will not tick all the boxes).

If you have then all I can suggest is asking him to look around it with an open mind. If he isn't happy about moving then it may well not be a good thing as he will not work & progress well anywhere if he's not happy. At that age you do have to start respecting childrens opinions, but maybe there are things you can do to address your moans without actually moving school eg: insisting he does some outside school activities; doing a GCSE independently & maybe early too etc.