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Original poster

Mildly irritated by this...

53 replies

SourOldBat · 15/03/2005 23:18

..and have changed my name as don't want to be identified as it sounds a bit petty but it is something which has been annoying me.

DD's school year has a play every year. For the past three years, the head of drama's daughter has had the starring role. She left school in the summer and appeared back a few weeks ago as she hadn't settled at her new school. School play in three weeks, and guess who has starring role again?

I'm not a pushy Mum who wants DD to take the lead (she would hate it), but surely other children should be allowed to have a go in the main part? There are over 100 in the year, so why choose this one child every year? I can't believe the other 99 are incapable of saying a few words on stage!

Grrr!

OP posts:
ionesmum · 15/03/2005 23:20
Shock
sparklymieow · 15/03/2005 23:21

thats terrible.... I would be p*ssed off too.

SleepyJess · 15/03/2005 23:22

Souroldbat.. you're NOT a souroldbat.. this is a genuine grievance! I would mention it to a staff member.. see what they say.. it must have been noted!... email is good for this!

SJ x

HUNKERMUNKER · 15/03/2005 23:24

FFS! Nepotism at its most pushy mum. I'd be about this.

Socci · 15/03/2005 23:28

Message withdrawn

Original poster
SourOldBat · 15/03/2005 23:30

Well, I am seeing DD's teacher this week, so think I will mention it, if you lot agree with me . Am exceptionally peed off that having only been back at the school for a few weeks, there she is centre stage again.

OP posts:
sillymummyornot · 15/03/2005 23:30

It must be the day for schools annoying mums....I posted earlier under What do you think?

Agree with you totally....all the children deserve an equal chance.

HUNKERMUNKER · 15/03/2005 23:31

Is she any good, SourOldBat?

Original poster
SourOldBat · 15/03/2005 23:35

Well I don't know - I've had nothing to compare her with . She's done a bit of skipping around the stage, some fairly tuneless singing and has had a few words to say. Nothing another child couldn't have done. Two other teachers' children got speaking parts in the play last year as well. Nepotism is the name of the game at this school, I think. Not sure what teacher's reaction will be. But am definitely going to say something.

OP posts:
Socci · 15/03/2005 23:38

Message withdrawn

Socci · 15/03/2005 23:39

Message withdrawn

Original poster
SourOldBat · 15/03/2005 23:41

Yes, it is private and the teachers' kids get free places. Have no problem with that at all, but think all children should be treated the same and given equal opportunities. There are lots of confident childen in DD's class with good singing voices who could perform equally as well, I am sure.

OP posts:
ghosty · 15/03/2005 23:46

I think that is terrible and you are not a sour old bat!!!
I used to be Head of Drama at my old school (an independent prep school) and I think your HoD is being totally out of order, and what is the school thinking of?
It is a hard thing to give kids parts .... and it is harder to please parents (I have had parents begging me to give a big role to a child who would rather gouge his eyes out than speak on stage but some mums don't realise that!)
Is you dd in primary school still SourOldBat? If that is the case it is even more important to give everyone a bit of a chance. And the fact she has only been back at school for a few weeks makes it worse.
If I were you I would go to the headteacher and have a quiet word ......... what do the other parents think?

Socci · 15/03/2005 23:47

Message withdrawn

tigermoth · 16/03/2005 07:51

oh this would really make me cross, SOB.

I think you should have a word with the head . I also think you could broaden your complaint and talk about the choice of play, not just the fact that the teacher's dd is again taking the lead role.

Why didn't the teacher choose a play that had several leading roles? I have seen many children's plays with no lead character but several main parts and lots of medium sized and small parts. This means children who want a big role have more chance of getting one and those who don't, can still have a moment of 'stardom'.

Original poster
SourOldBat · 16/03/2005 20:14

Have spoken with some friends and we are going to have a word with the teacher tomorrow.

OP posts:
rosebunch · 17/03/2005 15:55

This is totally unfair and, in theory, think you are right to speak up. However, the cowardly part of me says, is there any chance your speaking up may impact on your child? eg does the teacher you are going to speak to have a child at the school who has been chosen for the play (you say a couple of other teachers' children have been chosen). May be worth getting a group of Mums to say something rather than just going in as a lone voice?

rosebunch · 17/03/2005 15:56

Oh, too late ! I see you were going to speak to the school today. How did it go?

bundle · 17/03/2005 15:56

organise mass boycott

Original poster
SourOldBat · 17/03/2005 20:22

It is a difficult one (am seeing teacher tomorrow, BTW, not today), as teacher has child in school who is active in drama. I don't want her to take this personally. Went to school assembly today and guess what? HOD's daughter was leading light again. Lots of the other children had small parts (it is primary BTW) but she was the only one who was dressed up.
DD1 was stuck in the back row again. I asked her if she had wanted a bigger part in the performance, and she said "Yes, but I wasn't chosen. I didn't really mind being at the back."
They have another play (!) at the end of the summer term, so I could lobby for HOD's DD to take a back seat in that. As one of the other Mums said, how do they expect to build up the confidence of the quieter children if they just shove them at the back all the time?

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 17/03/2005 20:25

Good luck, I think you're right to be peed off too.

tigermoth · 17/03/2005 21:42

definitely think you should ask if a play can be chosen with more than one main speaking part, so other children get a chance to shine.

This situation reminds me of my primary school days - in the 60s! I hope things have moved on since thenm but in this case, apparently not. I happened to go to elocution and drama classes, and this was a well known fact at the school. As a result of this training, as a young child I had a very clear speaking voice and was used to speaking in front of an audience. Inevitably I got the big speaking parts in any plays, assemblies etc that were put on by the school. My classmates never got openly nastly to me about this, but at the time, I remember thinking this wasn't really fair.

I wonder, just out of interest, how the teacher's child would react to not being the star of the show all of a sudden? Would she feel very snubbed and think she had been punished in some way? Is the fear of upsetting her holding back the adults from giving parts to other children? If so, that's not a healty attitude at all and won't do the little girl any good in the long run. When she gets to secondary school, what happens then?

Do follow this up. I think you have serious reason to feel upset.

milward · 17/03/2005 21:47

This is out of order - there must be other mums who think this as well. I remember when I was at school in the dark ages!! the headgirl was the daughter of a teacher. Somethings never change!!

Caligula · 17/03/2005 21:51

That is hilarious, straight out of Victorian schools.

At least, I think it's hilarious- it's too outrageous to be anything but hilarious isn't it?

What the F* are they on? Have they not noticed the unseemliness of it? Dear Gott in Himmel, does this still go on in the 21st century? It sounds like something out of Little House on the Prairie. Or Desperate Housewives.

I'm truly gobsmacked! And I honestly don't think you needed to change names for this - the world is full of maniacs, and you are not one of them for finding this demented! Now if you started booing the little blighter off the stage, you might need to go anonymous

Gobbledigook · 17/03/2005 21:51

I'd be livid. I can't believe how blatant she appears to be about it either!! Amazing. I'd definitely have words without hesitation.