Bad parents evening! little boy having really big problems!!!

[AnotherHelen]

Hiya everyone! im pretty new to this so bear with me!
just had my parents evening, my little boy who is 5 in august is having serious problems at school! his teacher says he does nothing but disrupt the class on a daily basis and she has run out of things to try with him, she has suggested he go into a special needs group!! i am so upset, she said his behavior is slowing his learning down too, as he is way behind everyone else, although she feels when he is good he is extremely clever and picks things up very very quickly! i dont know what to make of this and i dont know how to help him has anyone got any ideas? i feel pretty useless to him right now! xxx

Hi Anotherhelen,

I'm really sorry you are going through this. My ds has unfortunately had such bad problems starting school that I have had to withdraw him and put him back in preschool.

I know that its hard to be told that your son is having difficulities but it isn't the end of the world. Going to a special needs group may be just what he needs to help him settle down.

Has the teacher arranged for the educational psychologist to assess his needs?

I would definitely make another appointment with the teacher so that you can both talk through your concerns. If you are in the UK ask to see the SENCO too if possible (Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator).

My ds1 has special needs (autistic). He too is very bright and learns very quickly but he is only able to do this because the school are able to give him extra support when needed.

You say that your son picks things up really fast, could it be that he is just getting too bored moving at a 'slow' pace? Maybe the teacher could try and give him something more challenging to do.

Before sticking 'lables' on him I think this is worth a try. hope this helps when you have your next discussion with the teacher.

Thankyou everyone! i think its a good idea to arrange another chat with his teacher like you've all suggested! i will mention all these things and hopefully we can help him out! i have also thought like norash40 say's that maybe he is not being stimulated enough and maybe its boredom! we all know what kids get like when they are bored!! you have all given me something to go on, i was beggining to get really stressed out about it all! Thankyou! xxxx

hi anotherhelen - i have just read this thread and wondered how things are going now? i am in a similar situation with my ds - he's 5 in july. i have just had to sign an IEP ???? xx

When my son was in Reception there was a little boy who sounds like he was very similar to yours, disruptive in class, took all the teachers attention etc etc, the school asked for him to be assessed at the Hospital (to see whether he had an behavioural probs). It all came back normal (or so the parents have said). The school told the parents that they thought it was because he was just too young for such a structured envioroment and that they should have delayed him starting by a year (his birthday is end of August)

AnotherHelen,

I'm sure you have asked your son about his side of this. What does he say? It would be interesting to hear whether he likes school/thinks its boring/has problems with his particular form teacher etc

anotherhelen.... when did he start school? why have they not told you about this before if he "disrupts the class on a daily basis" ???

Has this come as a complete suprise, and is he different out of school?

My son is 5 in Sept and luckily is only in Nursery - just over 2 hrs in the afternoon. I truly believe he couldn't behave all day if he were in Reception ATM. He loves to run, jump, climb and figit. He spends hours every morning playing, running all over the house etc. I don't think he is hyperactive just a lively boy. Maybe it is down to his age and he will settle more next year. I am hoping my ds will calm down a bit by next year.

my ds is 5 in august and was very disruptive when he started school. his teacher is the sen coordinator and made a behaviour plan which we discussed with ds. as soon as he became disruptive he was removed from the class and made to sit with the teaching assistant until he had calmed down. he had to do the work when he went back to the class room so he didnt escape from doing it! after just a few weeks he seemed to twig what was happening. he came home one day and said 'mummy i was good and the teacher didnt shout at me. im going to be good from now on!' he has been true to his word! at their school reception mixes with nursery so his day is not too structured. i think at that age you cant expect too much. as long as ds isnt upset i would persevere because it will work out in the end! hope things improve soon

AnotherHelen - is his class active and play based, or are they made to sit and work (for longer that 15-20mins)? Maybe the way the Reception class is run doesn't suit him. The Foundation Stage is all about play based, active curriculum and that's what he should be doing. Go and talk to the SENCO and the teacher - what sort of behaviour management have they tried? Is your DS clear about what is expected of him? Do they set him small achievable targets (sit quietly for 2 mins) and give him rewards - stickers etc? Why would they need to send him to a special needs group when they should have Early Years Assistants in the Reception class - and anyway, children should be included in their class, not excluded. I have at least 4 children in my Year 1 class this year who sound very similar to your DS and see no need to exclude them - we (unit of 3 classes) manage their behaviour and make sure that they know exactly what is expected, that it IS achievable, and that they are made to feel successful. We use visual schedules so all the children know what we're doing throughout the day and even in Year 1 we still have a very hands on, active curriculum.

Find out exactly what's been going on - press for details and possibly ask for a referral to the Educational Psychologist, or maybe you have a Behaviour Support Team in your LEA that they can refer your DS to. Ours come into schools and work with children. (My DS works with them at his junior school). Good luck - hope it goes well!