I have 6 dc, 4/6 are at uni or graduated so I dont think it’s my parenting. My youngest is 14 and has asd, also struggles with his mental health, notably OCD especially around germs, people coughing set him off which is not ideal now it’s cold season. Also has self harmed in the past by cutting, he no longer cuts but he self harms by picking at his lips until they bleed and biting at his fingers and picking the skin to cause infection. Same with spots
His anxiety has really ramped up since puberty started in august which coincided with him turning 14. We have had issues for a few years with school, when things were really bad he said he’d rather kill himseld than go to school. The gp were useless tbh just referred to camhs and told me to take to a&e if i thought he was at risk. Still haven’t seen camhs btw despite me calling often and half the time school don’t get back to me
School have been helpful in a way. They have put him in the hub which is a room for other autistic children, he feels he doesn’t fit in here as he feels he’s too autistic for real classes but not autistic enough for the hub which was his words, a lot of other children in the hub have ta’s whereas ds doesn’t. They also have relaxed the uniform for him, he his uniform is literally, long sleeve shirt, tie, trousers, velcro shoes which are more trainer style and he’s allowed to wear a t shirt under the shirt and due to his ocd traits he wears fingerless gloves.
He also presents himself scene day to day and has dyed hair and piercings which last year school allowed as he was in the hub anyway, this year they have said they can’t allow them as it can’t be a rule for him and another for everyone else, which I get but he doesn’t understand why and he won’t take them out at all so that’s added more anxiety about school. He went 2 days last week with the piercings in and tbh if i forced him to take them out he wouldn’t have gone those 2 days either
He doesn’t leave the house apart from school, not even for a walk so essentially i’m trapped at home when he’s home. He struggles to sleep, he always have but atm it’s worse, he sleeps about 11ish but often wakes up a couple hours later and is awake for hours and wakes me because he wants his phone/is upset/is really anxious etc and he just can’t settle despite being tired
EHCP for school has only just been sent off so who knows how long that’ll take. I went from caring for my other ds who became disabled after an accident to caring for youngest whilst also still been there for my other ds as despite him wanting to be independent it isn’t fully possible, he needs support with some things still and taken to appointments and it’s exhausting. I did have therapy a few years ago before youngest showed these issues but it didn’t do much and i don’t think it would now.
Posters on another thread jumped on me accusing me of being lax as he was posting on tiktok, which i still don’t know how to handle with him because im just exhausted, this weekend has been worse as he’s been the snappiest and moodiest he’s ever been which is probably hormones but also tiredness and his general mh he just seems so on edge about everything
He probably won’t be at school tomorrow, i keep suggesting ear defenders to try and get around the coughing issue but he refuses because he doesn’t want to be seen as different but he’ll be in the hub anyway, also doesn’t accept a fidget toy and his fingers are red raw again from school on friday
Im just resenting being a carer and him, i just feel so alone