I have my eldest in year 1 now.
Reception year I would chat to many of the parents. I wasn't best friends with anyone but was happy to chat, people seemed friendly and normal.
This year its like something else. I am so freaked out by the change in atmosphere. It has started to affect me daily to the point I am not sure how I continue doing the school pick-up!
I'll start by saying I've never had problems socially, I'm a friendly person, I don't tend to take things personally or be destabilised by the behaviour of others particularly people who are effectively strangers.
But I feel so alienated at the school gates. If I say hello to someone they will ignore me, but mostly I'm not getting to hello as people just simply avoid eye contact and turn away if they see me approaching.
I have friends in other areas of my life, good friends, who I adore and see reasonably frequently. But when I walk thorough those school gates its like I forget all that and I feel so incredibly vulnerable. I can't work out what changed since last year. I get that people are busy but it's not so hard to smile and say hello is it? I've not done anything at all that could be conceived of as controversial or even notable. My son doesn't harm or irritate other children as far as I'm aware. I'm also confused about what has changed with me and why I'm so affected by this. I guess its like a cumulative effect of this, as its day in day out and its everyone, not just one or two odd people. Everyone seems to have their people that they like to chat to and I'm firmly not invited to any of the groups.
I feel so dumb expressing this. It's hard to explain. I'm generally very friendly I'm not withdrawn or shy, and like I say generally no issues connecting with people. But it's not really connection I'm after, it's just basic courtesy. I feel paranoid something is going on/has gone on that I'm not aware of.
To add to this if these were just adults I had to encounter regularly I think I could happily just waive it off as an odd group, but my son loves other children and loves playing and I haven't had a single playdate for him in months and months. And that doesn't seem like it's about to change. A group of boys who he plays with seemed to go off to the park together with their mums today - I actually happened to speak to one of the mums about a practical matter at pick-up unaware this was happening - it would have been easy to invite my son if it was a case of him being overlooked, but she looked awkward and moved away. it was only afterwards I realised they were all off to the park or whatever and for whatever reason we weren't invited. to be clear these parents on the park date today don't know each other particularly well either, its not like a close knit group, its just a group who are clearly making an effort socially and for some reason we/my son was not extended an invite. it was a large group not a selective group.
Please be kind in your replies to me, I'm feeling honestly very confused by the dynamics here. I don't know if lots of mums feel as I do at the school gates or if I have a particularly unsettling/cliquey dynamic in my sons year group which is genuinely odd.