Should I pull AuDHD son out of school camps and trips?

[depressedParentof9yo]

DS9 is AuDHD and - while very nice, polite and considerate when medicated - is frankly impossible when unmedicated in the mornings and evenings. He has several school camps/ overnight trips coming up in the next year.

I can't see any way forward where he can possibly attend anything overnight with peers, since his behaviour is absolutely unmanageable (constant noisemaking, silly voices, extreme procrastination, impulsivity, acting utterly feral and stupid and disruptive) in the mornings for about an hour, until meds start working. He also does a lesser version of this at night - but would be totally uncontrollable if surrounded by overexcited, overtired age peers all acting up.

He's going to have to be pulled from all the camps and trips, isn't he?

Talk about it with the school. It's very unfair to pull him without doing that. There isn't likely to be many overnight trips I would have thought.

I should add, while parents are allowed to help on some of these, they can't attend all of them; and frankly, I can't control him anyway. So if I were there as a helper, he'd just be reacting to me and behaving probably worse than if I were not there.

He genuinely can't control the behaviour. But it's completely antisocial and would either make all the other kids hate him, or would cause utter chaos if the others joined in. Probably both.

@Happysnappydays it's one 4-night camp as well as several weekend trips away with orchestra/ choir.

How old is he ?

He might surprise you.
My dc sounds similar to yours, but school rrepot my dc is minimally hyper while away.
They want to be liked I think and adjust with their mates accordingly.
We also have the optional 4pm meds to keep the evening calm

Mine is also audhd. And y6 camp the teacher wanted to prevent them staying. They did end up going.
They are pretty similar to your description. They did ok but pretty much never sleep away.

i wouldnt be surprised if your kids teacher refuses. Do they struggle with him like this at school?

a lot of asd boys dont seem to want to sleep over places.

can you drop off for the days.

my dc2 doesnt want to stay over and we are still trying to encourage but has y6 2 night stay in jun this year. Its over an hour away..!

i think teachers pretty much leave kids to it.

Could you stay nearby and take him back in the morning? I have seen a few kids participate during the day but not stay over at two different schools for different reasons. First school was basically boys with adhd who potentially wouldn’t cope and second school was mega home sick girls. In both settings there was obviously some flexibility/adaptations made.

It's a 50km drive to the camp from our house, with no accommodation nearby, i.e. it'd be 200km a day driving even if our decrepit electric car could get there, which it can't. So too far to commute daily. I'll talk to the school about options.

He's already on the maximum doses possible of meds... which is probably why he struggles so much in the mornings before they're working.

Thanks for the thoughts!

I would speak to the school about ways and adjustments so DS can attend.

Depending on the meds, sometimes it can help to have a small top up later in the day to help with the crash. Even if you don’t want to do that long term, you could ask about it for trips.

My AuDHD child wants to go to camp, but t has to essentially have a 1:1 on trips and whether she can attend is still unknown. It is likely that I will have to stay nearby in a hotel (it’s 2 hours from home) to be on call to come and assist.

I would not pull him. I’d have a conversation with the school about it first.

Ive also got a child with adhd, and I’d try to find a way that he can attend at least one trip. Do any of the trips have a spare room on site?

If so, I’d consider going too and sharing a room with DS. When the behaviour starts getting too crazy in the evening take him back to your room, and don’t let him out in the morning until the meds have started working.

On scout camp I go, let him try the communal tent, and then if at some point something goes wrong it’s not the end of the world because he just gets moved to my tent. The leaders like it because I pitch in and help when he’s being ok.

I know families in similar circs who have claimed disability benefits to help with exactly this kind of thing - to help cover the additional costs of allowing the child to access the opportunities available to non-disabled peers - in this case, to pay for a parent to travel and stay in hotel near the school lodgings to have the child stay with them over night and return to their school group in the morning.

Can he not have a top up dose of his meds later in the day?

This is what was done for a friend of DD's with poorly controlled T1 diabetes.

DD is AuDHD and while not quite as "crazy" in groups, managed with some tactful thought and planning from teaching staff. One issue was that she wakes very early so needed things to do/places to be so as not to disturb others.

I’m an AuDHD parent. You should send him. Autism + environment = outcome - his behaviour at camp may be totally different to at home. You can’t start limiting his life. If it’s a binfire, the staff will tell you so and you may need to pause then.

If it’s Ritalin that could work as it’s in and out of your system quickly. But most kids on meds are moved from it to a longer lasting medication, so it’s one a day. I do know of some adults who take a long-lasting tablet in the morning and a short-acting in the late afternoon, but that’s because they want to work late (eg after 7pm) and are happy to be meds-free at 11pm.

I’d speak to school and send him with a comprehensive RA and visuals. Social story, expectations and visuals showing the lay out of facilities etc .

how to ask for help - card prompt etc.

strategies for staff if he’s knackered and need to slouch.

He may surprise you all. Many of our kids are totally different on camps. The physical exercise, fresh air etc can really help.

(Send teacher)

The very first word of the post is DS9.

@WarriorN those are good ideas, thanks.

He's already on maximal adult doses of meds, so unfortunately top ups aren't an option for later in the day.

I'll talk to the teachers about options for parents going on the camp and whether they just happen to need a parent helper (who might have a spare bed in her room) for the choir/ orchestra trips.

Personally I’d be inclined not to go but be available if there needs to be a phone call or quick car drive to collect. The level of risk in those situations should be discussed carefully beforehand and agreed on the RA so staff and you have shared understanding of that.

Appreciate choir trip may be different though