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Original poster

Feel like I want to cry........

14 replies

ButtonMoon · 26/01/2005 09:38

Just dropped off DD (2.5) at play school. It is her third session, the first two were ok. But today she said she didnt want to go and when we arrived she cling to me and started crying and wouldn't be consoled. In the end I left her and told her I would be back soon...she was screaming after me. I am really upset.....feel like a really cruel Mum.

OP posts:
galaxy · 26/01/2005 09:40

Don't beat yourself up. My dd is 2.3 months and been going to the same childminder since she was 17 weeks (her auntie). Last week dh dropped her off and she did exactly the same thing. She cried and screamed and clung to him for dear life. Once he had driven off, she forgot about it and just got on with playing. He was virtually in tears when he called me.

I'm sure it's just a phase and she will be fine when you collect her.

golds · 26/01/2005 09:44

your not cruel at all, you are doing the best for her although it doesn't feel like it at the moment.

I remember taking ds to playschool, he was the same age and he screamed the place down for about 2 weeks and then he was fine and couldn't wait to go. Once she has settled in and made a few friends she will be fine.

Is it a playschool where you can stay ? I wouldn't recommend staying as she will only expect it all the time, but what I was able to do was say, mummy will be back at snack time and i made sure I was, then the next time I turned up at story time and a few days later said I was coming back at home time, i stuck to this and it seemed to reassure him that I was coming back and I stuck to my word.

I hope that helps, it is tough but very soon, I am sure she will be running there as she won't be able to wait to play with her friends.

And for you, I nice cup of tea and a chocolate cake may go some way to helping. Good luck

Kelly1978 · 26/01/2005 09:48

See how it goes, before worrying too much. i actually cried every single day throughout all of primary school as a child!! I just hated sayign goodbye, as soon as my mother had gone I was fine.

Sponge · 26/01/2005 09:50

My dd went to nursery at 15 weeks and suddenly at about 2.5 started doing exactly this, clinging and crying for me not to leave her every morning, so it's not necessarily about it being a new place and she knew I was coming back because I always had. I think they just go through a more clingy phase at this sort of age.
She was fine once I'd gone though so I wouldn't recommend staying around, it just prolongs the agony.
You'll be glad to hear they do grow out of it. She runs off without a backward glance now.

anorak · 26/01/2005 09:52

I think most littlies go through this at one time or another.

The best thing to do is to say goodbye firmly and go. It's drawing out the goodbye that makes them do it again. It's far easier on the childminder/nursery staff if you just grit your teeth and go. You can always ring a few minutes later if you are still worried. I remember standing on a milk crate to peer through the window at dd1!

Original poster
ButtonMoon · 26/01/2005 10:12

Just doing the ironing now and watching child of our time from last night! Still have a sickly feeling....but they haven't phoned me yet!! I think I know deep down that it is a phase....and the reason I've started her now is because she has always been a bit clingy and I thought that leaving it til 3 might be worse!? Thanks for your words of comfort I will let u know how we get on later!!!

OP posts:
SPARKLER1 · 26/01/2005 10:18

ButtonMoon although you feel awful leaving her like that it is good for her in the long run. I help out at dds playschool one morning a week and I watch the kids coming in and some of them are crying and clinging to mums. Five minutes after mum has left the kids are absolutely fine and playing with their friends like nothing has happened.

Original poster
ButtonMoon · 26/01/2005 10:21

I'm hoping that's what has happened with DD!! I don't want her to feel abandoned!

OP posts:
puddle · 26/01/2005 10:28

Button moon why don't you give them a ring and see how she's getting on? I'm sure they will tell you she is playing happily and it will put your mind at rest - I have done this a few times with both of mine when I have had a bad drop off! (and they happen all the way through nursery IMO - there are always odd days when they don't want to go but they generally have a great time when they get there).

Original poster
ButtonMoon · 26/01/2005 10:31

Do you think that would be ok....or will they think that I'm just a fussy mother?!! I'll probably start crying on the phone!!

OP posts:
puddle · 26/01/2005 10:40

Of course it's OK! I think it's fine to put your mind at rest - it means you can stop worrying and enjoy your time alone too

SPARKLER1 · 26/01/2005 21:40

Buttonmoon - how did she get on???

Original poster
ButtonMoon · 27/01/2005 14:06

She was fine (I had phoned and they said she was having a drink and biscuit and was ok) BUT......I was expecting a very tearful DD when I picked her up but she bounded over to me full of everything that she had done...couldn't shut her up!! What a rollercoaster!! The teachers said that she sttled down quickly and did most things but got a little upset when they did the glittering and sticking!!?? Not sure why as she drives everyone at home mad to do glueing!! Thankyou all for getting me through the morning.

OP posts:
bundle · 27/01/2005 14:15

buttonmoon, it's much worse for the parents than the children, someone should tell us before we even get pregnant! xx

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