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Education

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Original poster

Home schooling

19 replies

alilujahcatsg · 15/12/2004 10:46

I know this is a contentious subject but I'd really appreciate people's views and experiences. DH is keen to home ed our ds but I have concerns about this - mainly around ds making friends and experiencing a broad church of opinions etc. Also I question our ability to teach languages etc.

So wise Mumsnetters - what do you think?

OP posts:

coppertop · 15/12/2004 10:53

I think Home Ed has become much easier since the arrival of the internet. There's also far more support out there than there used to be. I don't home ed but it's something I would seriously consider if our circumstances changed and ds1 was no longer thriving at school.

You can google for the EducationOtherwise site. They offer lots of advice.

spacedonkey · 15/12/2004 10:53

In my opinion your ds would gain a broader church of opinions/experience through home ed because he would be mixing with a broader range of people, rather than being sat in a classroom full of people his own age.

The socialisation thing is a valid objection - if you go down the home ed route you'd need to make particular effort to ensure ds had a good range of social opportunities through clubs relating to his interests and contact with other home edding families.

My advice would be to read up on it. John Holt's books are the most convincing argument against compulsory schooling. Ivan Illich is also good. You can also join Education Otherwise - a charity supporting families who home ed. Membership gives you access to their (huge) member list so you can directly contact other families. There is also a good home ed mailing list - doesn't cost to join, and you can ask questions and make contact with home edders (who ime are very supportive and realistic).

There are some home edding mumsnetters - stupidgirl for instance (haven't seen her around lately though ).

Can I ask why your dh is keen to do home ed?

Original poster

alilujahcatsg · 15/12/2004 11:03

I think DH is keen because he didn't enjoy school at all. But the nastier bit of me also thinks he sees it as a way of avoiding having to go back to work (he is a SAHD) as he has also struggled in work situations. He's not a team player.

OP posts:

spacedonkey · 15/12/2004 11:08

It's a massive step, you're right to be apprehensive I think. Especially if you suspect your dh's motives may not be entirely pure iykwim!

Despite my belief in the badness of compulsory schooling, I still sent my children to school for a number of reasons ... (a) realistically I didn't feel I was up to the job of home edding primary age children (b) I was concerned that if they did not participate in something that is so central to our culture, they may grow up feeling like outsiders. I (wrongly, as it turned out) thought that I could minimise the damage inflicted by compulsory schooling. In many ways I regret it and feel I didn't have the courage of my convictions. Having said all that, I do think it is easier to home ed nowadays simply because more people are doing it.

Please do read John Holt, if you do nothing else. He's a great read - absolutely one of my heros.

Start with his books "How Children Learn" and "How Children Fail".

Original poster

alilujahcatsg · 15/12/2004 11:12

thanks SD

OP posts:

spacedonkey · 15/12/2004 11:13

Hoe Children Learn (you can get it 2nd hand on there for £3!)

spacedonkey · 15/12/2004 11:13

How Children Fail

coppertop · 15/12/2004 11:16

How old is ds?

Original poster

alilujahcatsg · 15/12/2004 11:20

DS is only 1 so we have time on our side to make an informed decision.

OP posts:

spacedonkey · 15/12/2004 11:27

Good luck with whatever you decide ali!

coppertop · 15/12/2004 11:27

If you want an idea of what people do from day-to-day try:

www.muddlepuddle.co.uk

There is also a blog/diary on there which shows what is being done each day. The children are primary school age and younger.

I do think though that this is something that you really have to agree with 100% in order for it to work. If deep down you are really not happy with the idea by the time you make the final decision then it may cause more problems than it solves.

Depending on when ds's birthday is you might be able to have a trial period, eg instead of him starting school in the September after his 4th birthday leave it until the January or following September. This should give you all a taste of what it would be like.

spacedonkey · 15/12/2004 11:28

thanks for that link ct, interesting stuff

coppertop · 15/12/2004 11:30

By the way, school seems to have changed a heck of a lot from when I used to go. I think I would've loved school if it had been how ds1's school is now. Could you and your dh arrange visits to local schools nearer the time? He may find that it's nothing like the way he remembers it.

spacedonkey · 15/12/2004 11:32

Frankly, the fact that dh didn't like school is not a good enough reason to decide on home ed imo.

Original poster

alilujahcatsg · 15/12/2004 12:10

no I agree. Partly I think he's getting himself wound up by all the reports of bullying.

I also kind of think that you need to experience life in all its shades to be equipped to handle it and I don't know that protecting ds by home ed-ing is necessarily the best bet for him. Am v confused with whole thing.

OP posts:

spacedonkey · 15/12/2004 12:11

Please do read up on it, it's a very interesting subject. You've got loads of time!

coppertop · 15/12/2004 12:14

It sounds as though your dh wants to keep ds wrapped up in cotton wool tbh. I'm all for Home Ed but the reasons here seem a bit shaky to me. Not all children experience bullying, although sadly some do. I would have thought that my ds1 would be a prime target as he is autistic and has no clue about social rules of the playground. He's been at school for almost a whole term now and hasn't experienced any such problems at all.

Jimjambells · 15/12/2004 12:23

We looked into home edding ds1 (severely autistic) but in the end decided it would be too much for me and he needed more than I could give. However I joined Education Otherwise etc and found it helpful (and muddlepuddle- lots of emails on the email list though- very busy).

You could look at alternative forms of education as well- maybe Steiner, or small schools if you have one near you (is there an organisation called human scale education or something).

aloha · 16/12/2004 11:14

I do think it is hard to distinguish your experiences and emotions from those of your child - I know I find it difficult. I also loathed school (and do feel that ds is like me in many ways) but am trying to be open-minded about his ability to cope with/enjoy school when the time comes. The fact that we had a bad experience with his hating nursery set me back a bit. I still feel guilty that he spent so much time there crying while we hoped he would 'settle'. Now of course, he has a morning place at the local primary pre-school which I can't take up because a/we can't park anywhere near and ds has dyspraxia and cannot walk to school in less than 45mins of me dragging him (which for a 2 1/2 session is not terribly practical!) added to which I am very pregnant and expecting a baby in Feb. Also they won't take him if not potty trained, and he isn't. Have his name down for private nursery at top of road but no idea if he will be offered a Jan place - they never call me back ! So I AM trying, though the though of how he will cope in a class of 30 kids or something makes me feel quite upset. I am realising more and more why people bankrupt themselves for private education. I'd love him to be in a small class. Maybe we'll move to Finland! Their schools sound lovely.

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