Anyone faced the same? 7yo not reading by himself

[Bikeproject]

Hi, my 7yo can read well however he does not read books by himself. He says he does and that he prefers reading when we're not watching but that's not true. I have bought books he chose in the hope he would read them. Nothing.
I've now bought a kindle for myself and I'm hoping it might attract him. But I'm not kidding myself, it probably won't happen.
We carry on the reading aloud from school throughout the holidays to try and make up the deficit but 3 pages a night is not the same as reading a book by yourself. I also read every night to him before bed time. I have offered/suggested he read on his own in bed but that has been turned down too.

Anyone who's been through the same please? What happened next? What didn't happen next? Did you do anything specific? It doesn't feel like a stick situation but all the carrots I've used have not worked.

I was the same with DS. He is now an adult and reads loads so don’t worry too much.

If he’s going to be a reader he will find his gateway drug book (Harry Potter for DS).

If not, as long as he can read, he just may not be a reader. My ex isn’t and would never read for enjoyment despite being well educated.

Have you tried something comic book like, like Dogman?

I think the carrot has to be the reading itself. I’d carry on offering to buy him books, and maybe take him to the library regularly. It’s frustrating, but he might discover he enjoys reading or he might never read for pleasure. My 6.5 year old son is the same and it does grieve me a bit because I love to read and never had my head out of a book from about that age. DH is a big reader now but wasn’t as a child, so I’m hoping DS will take after him.

You sound like you're quite anxious about this and I wonder if he's feeling pressured by your focus on it. Not everybody loves reading and reads for pleasure but they get through life just the same.
Maybe just back off a bit from the pressure, make sure he has plenty of opportunities to read including reading things for a specific purpose like menus, information, recipes. Also, read a great book every night and try to leave it at an exciting part so that he wants to find out what happens next.
If your ds can read well and has reading material available then he'll find his own way.

Yes, seconding the PP suggestion - try a graphic novel or something like Asterix.

If you find a page turner and make sure you always stop reading on a cliffhanger you may find that he will start reading under the sheet, but some people are not as into reading or come to it later. Audio books might help, not with the decoding but with following and understanding stories.

Honestly. He’s 7. He only small. He is reading, he can read. Don’t put pressure on him just go with the flow.

It's perfectly normal. Some children read by themselves from 4 or 5, some not til 10 or 11, some never read for pleasure - you can't force, only have lots of books around. As he can read well its not something that you have to worry overly about.

Do you read to him? I still read aloud to my ten year old even though he reads very enthusiastically himself - the books I read to him are a bit more challenging. My nearly 14 year old listened too until a couple of months ago. I was still reading to my now 16 year old at 14, she'd been a fairly listless reader of children's and young adult fiction but suddenly she started on my dusty old classics and told me she didn't want to listen to the book we were reading with her brothers because she was really enjoying Jayne Eyre! She now reads really quite challenging books especially considering her formal schooling has all been in a different language!
My nearly 14 year old doesn't read for pleasure but managed a 6 book reading challenge (with a mini exam to check they'd been read) for a grade at school - all age appropriate set texts, so he can plough through an age appropriate book if he has to, its just not his thing. His little brother has read hundreds of books at ten and he's read six, but they just have different interests and pastimes!

Do you have an xBox or iPad?

If so, that’s why he is not reading by himself. Mine used to go through books like there was no tomorrow until the iPad got home.

That isn’t always the case. One of mine read like a Trojan from the day they ever got a book in their hand. DS was different.

This was before iPads (DS is in his 30s).

Sorry you dp read to him - on a thread about reading I didn't read properly

Do you read yourself, OP? Does he see you sitting still for periods of time with a book, reading to yourself in your head?

Does he like being read to, for a bedtime story? My DD is 7yo and we’ve started Harry Potter this year- we have two copies, the normal one and the illustrated edition. I read aloud from the normal one and she follows along in her head in the illustrated one, looking at the pictures too. Sometimes she corrects me if I make a mistake or miss a word out!

Also, see attached

When DS was 7 he loved being read to but reading to himself for pleasure was non existent. Fast forward two years and (restricting iPad time has helped massively) and he is actively reading for pleasure. Don't worry it will come if he's going to be a reader, not everyone is. I admit as a complete bookworm it has made me very happy that DS has "found" reading in this way but I had accepted that it might not be the case.

Would he prefer non fiction? My DS is only 5 and not yet at the reading to himself stage but for months he’s only picked non fiction library books at school and when given the choice of what he wants me to read to him at bedtime he almost always goes for non fiction as well. I have to sit there reading him more endless facts about dinosaurs or reptiles or how the body works because that’s what he’s interested in 🤷‍♀️

DD doesn't enjoy reading. It sucks because both me and DH are avid readers and I can't share that with her.

However, she is not me, she's her own person with her own likes and interests. She needs to do her reading for school, we provide books and I read with her at times. Even when she enjoys a book, it's not her go to for a past time. It probably never will and that's ok.

There are so many distractions today. The worst one is the tv in the bedroom. While that is there the habit of picking up a book at night is unlikely to be established which is a real shame. What about non fiction would he be interested in books on football or something else he enjoys. So perhaps approach it from a “finding out” perspective.

My husband didn't voluntarily read a book until his 30s, but these days has phases of reading intensely and phases of not picking up a book.

Don't force it. The idea of paying a child to read sounds wrong on every level to me - like paying them to play playstation. Don't make it a chore or a duty, you'll put him off properly!

If it’s any comfort my DSis didn’t read for pleasure until she was 14. My DParents had long despaired and I was gobsmacked the day she arrived in my room asking for a book to take on holiday.

She has an English Lit degree and never stopped after that.

I think you just need to find the right books. Once kids realise they can escape into a world and read a whole book by them selves and it feels glorious, they're off! Mine always like a series of books, so as soon as one was finished, they know what they were reading next. Don't go and buy all 40million dogman/Captain underpants just yet.

Have a look at the type of books out there for his age and try and match to his interests. For example, my ds hated the beast quest books. His best mate could not get enough of them!

It'll come.

Definitely worth trying different types of books to discover what he likes.

13 (and all the rest!) story treehouse is good - funny and not too much to read on each page

100 mile an hour dog is also fun but easy.

I've heard people recommend the Beast Quest books and How to train your dragon too.

Some people find their kids go all out for Phoenix magazine too.

Any reading which grabs them is good!

He’s still young and there are some good suggestions here. Mine loved reading books on dinosaurs, sharks and big cats at that age.
Keep trying gently and keep that time before bed for reading.
During the holidays, I used to say no gaming until certain tasks are done and one of them was reading for 20 minutes.

All you can do is keep providing appropriate books and encouraging him.

In "Bookworm" Lucy Mangan writes a bit about accepting that your child might never experience the joy of reading. She and her husband are both massive lifelong readers, and she describes them catching each other's eyes in delight when they noticed their little non-reader actually reading a book...right before he put it aside and ran off to do something else. It rang abell with me, unfortunately!

Some kids don’t like reading. Forcing him to will make him hate it even more

My dd adores reading. She has a huge collection of books and wants more

My ds can read, but he prefers doing anything else. He has books, but he rarely sits there flicking through them

7 is IME quite early to be a leisure reader. I have a 13 year old who reads a lot, they didn't really take off with reading until Y3, & it was only when they had lots of downtime home educating for the rest of primary school that they started reading a lot. My current 9 year old has been a much slower burn on reading. Not everyone reads a lot for pleasure & leisure.