Teacher BAWLING at ds across the classroom....

[FrightOwl]

...i'm not very happy about.

surely if there was an incident the previous day which she has now been made aware of, a better approach would have been to sit both boys down, hear both sides of the story and then dish out punishment as appropriate?

not drag my ds up in front of his whole class and yell at him?

ive never had a report of bad behaviour since he started school. (this is last year of primary by the way). he's terrified of this teacher

If this was about an incident that happened the day before, I agree with you. Before I read the details I assumed it was a case of teacher looking up and seeing ds doing something he shouldn't. Why don't you go into school and ask to speak to the teacher at a mutually agreeable time (or phone up for an appointment) and ask her to explain all the circs. There may well be more to it than you think, and the teacher will have to justify her actions to you. Try not to make it look as though you have already made up your mind about the whole thing.

Teacher's shouldn't bawl IMHO

No teachers shouldn't bawl. I am a teacher and I have once been faced with a very angry parent who came in to complain about my treatment of her son. It was a learning opportunity for me as it wasn't until half way through a tense conversation that it became clear that she had had a different version of events from her son.

Which is not to say your son has lied to you at all...I should say no child should be terrified of their teacher...that's horrid...just be sure you have all the facts.

it was an incident that happened as they were leaving the actual school as far as i know (couldn't have been much out of the classroom as he is picked up in the playground).

im aware that although ds doesn't generally tell lies, he doesn't always remember the full story so i'd never go in all guns blazing by any means! (as i dont think his teacher should have).

am thinking its a bit OTT to do that at the beginning of the next day, expecially as it was directed at ds with a side serving of "and i mean you too" at the other child, who is well known for being aggressive and a bit of a bully.

i am going to speak to her but i thought i would get some opinions first. i personally think what she did was humiliating. i accept that ds did break the rules, but rules should be there for all and not just the child who retaliates.

If I looked across my classroom and saw a child about to fall out the window, I don't think I could refrain from bawling at a fairly high decibel level.

erm...but he wasnt falling out of a window! lol.

he'd just walked into class.

he broke the rules. someone hit him and he hit them back.

my problem is with the way the teacher went about telling them off, not with the fact that she did.

I never said I've never bawled

How do you know how the teacher sopke to him?

Frightowl, I wasn't suggesting the window scenario happened, I'm just answering people who say teachers should NEVER shout. In the case you are talking about, it does sound like very strange and unhelpful behaviour from the teacher, on the face of it. But it would help to get her side of the story, I'm sure you appreciate.

And if there was a fight between 2 pupils, the teacher should speak to them both together, without jumping to conclusions before hearing each side.

exactly elasticwoman, that is my point. to me that seems fair. but not in front of the class, and not a shouting out.

You're right...we're human though...not that I want to align myself with a teacher a child is terrifed of at all.

we are human...but am i not right in thinking a teacher shouldn't be losing their temper with a child (at all probably although i understand they can be testing little buggers at times), and especially over something that happened the previous night..which (to my knowledge) she didnt witness?

dont think for one moment im having a go at teachers, ds has always got on with his teachers. for example, his teacher last year was a strict kind of guy. (i know, he was my teacher when i was ten). but he was a fair kind of man. we all liked him. we weren't frightened of him. (we just knew not to push our luck ).

and i think that is the difference. respect is not the same as fear.

You are right. I can't understand shouting the day after the event. I like to think I do my best not to shout as it is lazy/tired discipline. There is no place for fear in the classroom.

i dont really know how to explain ds. when i say he doesn't lie, what i mean probably is that he is incapable of telling a lie.

we dont actually know what is wrong with him. he has extra lessons, he cant seem to grasp most things. dyspraxia has been suggested for years, although not "diagnosed" as such. its limbo really. he's very intelligent, but seems to live in a spaced out world.

although i know his short term memory is rubbish...albeit non existant...he doesnt know how to lie. does that make any sense?

so he could say to me "i was shouted at" which could mean anything. but if he says to me "my teacher got me up in front of the class and then shouted at me", its probably right.

he can miss bits out easily, but doesnt know how to make them up?

and he's mostly scared of his own shadow, he always has been. he's very gentle and non confrontational. but i do believe he hit someone, as this child has picked on him and his little group of friends for years. i think he'd had enough

Well then you are right to speak to the teacher...if only so that the teacher thinks twice about their behaiour re. your ds next time which is a result for ds anyway. Can't imagine how I'm going to feel when it's my turn for this sort of thing! I'm still fed up that a playschool worker told me Ds was 'stubborn' last week for not saying good morning at register when I know he's just shy.

Do you know for a fact that the teacher lost her temper? Very few teachers actually lose their tempers, but put on an act of being angry. I find that teachers get very worried when they 'lose it'.