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Original poster

Anyones children Board ?

24 replies

Hideehi · 15/03/2007 20:19

My 7 yo DD is one girl in a family of 4 boys and frankly she hates them.
I had an idea that she might like to board at a girls school between Junior and Senior school, she's quite mature but i'm worried she'd feel pushed out at this stage.
I don't feel I can take the risk with her senior education as the schools are very good and fill up quickly here so it would be now or never.
WDYT ?

OP posts:

hana · 15/03/2007 20:20

thre must be other options than boarding school if she doesn't like her brothers, I could never send my girls to board.

Original poster

Hideehi · 15/03/2007 20:22

it is hard for her, we have 4 bedroomed house and she never has a moments peace.
I'm thinking beautiful country house, not borstal lol

OP posts:

hana · 15/03/2007 20:24

just seem sa bit harsh sending her away. what about girlie days out, space for herself and her special things in the house, activities just for her and you?

Themis · 15/03/2007 20:25

Surely there must be some other options to give her 'a moments peace' without sending her off to boarding school ?

TheodoresMummy · 15/03/2007 20:40

What do you mean between junior and senior school ?

I don't think this is a serious post, is it ?

indiajane · 15/03/2007 20:41

Does she want to board?

Wouldn't she feel really rejected - that she has to go away to make room for her brothers etc?

zippitippitoes · 15/03/2007 20:42

no she's too young

develop family realtionships and give her more attention too

what are the age gaps

Themis · 15/03/2007 20:47

I think by sending her to boarding school it is a cop out than rather deal with the problem yourself.

It is rather harsh to send her away because she doesn't like her brothers and doesn't have a moments peace.

If you think she is being hard done by by her brothers then sort the matter out yourself and dont pass it onto someone else to deal with i.e a boading school.

zippitippitoes · 15/03/2007 20:47

..shes only 7

Themis · 15/03/2007 20:51

Exactly - only 7 , a year older then my DS1- very very

mummytosophie · 15/03/2007 20:57

My DP was sent to boarding school from age 9yrs to 18yrs and his parents do not know him . He is 35 and they still think he is a 12 yr old at boarding school.

Themis · 15/03/2007 21:09

Hideehi - How old are your children exactly - from your previous threads its seens that your DD is your middle child , so she has siblings younger than her .

Come back and enlightend us, your OP doesn't ring right somehow .

fridayschild · 15/03/2007 21:41

My cousin's DCs go to a cathedral school as day pupils. The school will take them overnight from time to time - the choristers board all the time - would that suit?

Judy1234 · 16/03/2007 09:16

Not sure how the psychology of this is workijng here - girl doesn't get enough time for herself/with her parents probably too so they send her away. No wonder many other countries around the world have a poor opinion of British parents who send young children away. 7 year olds aren't that into the opposite sex and then they change. Being home with brothers will be good for her. Before long the house will be filled with her friends anyway.

Also a very bad idea to send her away and then have her back. It's confusing. All her new friends at boarding school will be going off to other schools at 12/13 and she'll be coming home. She won't know whether she's coming or going.

zippitippitoes · 16/03/2007 09:18

i don't think on reflection this was a serious thread was it

Anna8888 · 16/03/2007 09:20

My youngest uncle had this issue with his daughter, who has three brothers.

She was absolutely desperate to be in a female environment so they sent her to Benenden, but only at 13. She absolutely adored it - but her family home is very close by and she got to go home quite a bit during term time.

Original poster

Hideehi · 16/03/2007 18:06

Just having a bad day ! We'll put her in the garage instead !

OP posts:

Boobsgonesouth · 16/03/2007 18:14

I work at a school that has a large number of prep school boarders (boys & girls) and the girls are all lovely and seem to have a very active social/out of schools activity life.

BUT it seems so sad that they don't have family around to share day to day life with....7 seems far too young.....

Judy1234 · 16/03/2007 19:20

It's often hugely psychologically damaging. How can it not be seen as rejection? Now you might say me working each day is just the same but I don't agree. I want to see my children every day. There aren't groups like the boarding school survivors' association for nothing and many of my father's psychiatric patients attributed their problems to being sent away young. Also you don't have a refuge. If a day at school is awful or people have kicked you in at least you know you can come home and your parents will be there and your bedroom is safe.

Anna8888 · 17/03/2007 09:04

I think boarding school is fine if it is the child's choice. Lots of people in my family went to boarding school and in the present generation of boarders, all of them chose. So in one famiy there are state-school day pupils, private-school day pupils and private-school boarders. In my parents' and grandparents' generation there wasn't any choice since families lived too far from school to do anything but board and mostly the memories weren't so good. But of course boarding school was tougher in the past as well.

indiajane · 17/03/2007 09:10

My father was a teacher and a boarding house master so I grew up with 60 boys in the same house. The youngest were 7 and my mum had to be their mum too.

It's quite unusual to start at this age unless your parents are in the armed forces and I can't imagine anyone who would want to send their child away at this age.

Also it costs a bloody fortune!

Beetrootccio · 17/03/2007 09:12

Hideehi - be prepared for very diverse opinions!!

two of my children boarded for 2 days a week for two years - until we moved closer to the school

I would not let them do it again.

Go see a couple of schools

alternatively why not try some bonding stuff between the boys and your dd?

I have three boys and a dd and she loves being the only girl. Perhaps it has helped that she shares with her brother for the moment so has become close them him?

I feel if you send her away you will never establish the bond between them .

ebenzer · 17/03/2007 19:05

With an issue like this, people will either be totally pro or totally con, and it'll depend on their own experience. I would certainly visit some schools - you'll find that boarding is totally unrecognisable from how it was even 15 years ago. My kids are day children at an independent school and from what i see the boarders have a fantastic time. They can be in contact whenever they choose with parents, through texts etc and a lot of them see their parents at weekends anyway. They get to build up really strong friendships from living with their peers. I also feel that if they have busy lives, they're better off really being part of the school, rather than having the extra pressure of having to get in and out all the time for various events. The House Parents at my kids's school all seem great - just normal, friendly, lively people and they nearly all have children of their own, so its a real family atmosphere. My kids would like to board, but we just can't justify it as we live pretty near. Having said that, I would seriously look at letting them board at maybe GCSE or 6th form, as its a good half way house to independent living. I would be guided by what your child is telling you. If they want to board, they'll probably love it. If they don't, then don't do it. But in your case it seems she may well be keen. Remember for every person who belives that boarding screwed up their life, there's no doubt someone who would have given their right arm to board. I know I would have!

3sEnough · 17/03/2007 19:13

No - WAY too young, wait until at least 13 and then see how she/you feel. P.S. - not against boarding school in any shape or form - dh works in one!

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