Is weekly boarding the best compromise?

[Cwandry]

Between kids who want to go.... A DH who is for it.... And a mother who is desperately sad (and having serious anxiety at the prospect) of losing her children too early/young.... And the children still feeling a part of the family.

One the eldest (13) can home for basically 24 hours each weekend if she wants and the younger one (11) at the school she likes can stay home Sat and Sunday nights and I woudl visit on Wednesdays they say.

The eldest is desperate to go... So I need to just put in my big girl pants and deal with that... The younger one can be persuaded to stay home a few more years.... May be forever but DH wants to give them all the same opportunity to go if they want to,

Is that enough family time? It is harder right now as I don't work outside the home. I will if they go... BUT don't want to be working the holidays if that is the only chance I get to see them!

My DS weekly boarded from the age of 13 & to be honest I hated the idea. I looked at posts on here to help me cope with the prospect & it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I thought I'd lose my extremely close relationship with my son, but he's now a grown up 21-year-old & I'm as close to him as I ever was. As for time together as a family, when they hit those teenage years they don't always want to be around us oldies anyway. Boarding made my DS appreciate his time at home so looking back it wasn't such a bad idea.

Go on, get those big girl pants on! If your family have solid relationships now then weekly or even full boarding, is unlikely to change anything.

Thank you. JudgeJudy. I would hope it would work out like this for us. The eldest is definitely drawing away a bit, towards friends, hobbies, instagram hahaha. We are quite a close family though we have dinner round the table 3 or 4 nights a week and all wash up together and chat and it is mostly really lovely.,,,,,, sometimes there is a heated debate.

At the weekends we mostly do our own thing but we always have a family movie night on Sunday's which is really nice and helps with Sunday night fright night. This wouldn't happen of course as she would have to be driven back to school..... or most likely as she has said she would stay in most weekends....

Weekly boarding is indeed a good compromise. The weekends come around very quickly as does half-term not to mention extended exeat weekends. The only problem we had with our daughter in the first couple of years she came home exhausted and the weekends tended to revolve around her a bit too much. I'm not so sure about visiting during the week to be honest - best just leave them to it and sure they will be very busy.

Did you post about this a while ago OP?

Yes, I think it would be a very good compromise. I think you should go for it. It's massively different from trembly boarding. At that age theyd be spending so much time either with friends or working during the week that I really don't think you'd be missing out on much family time!

Out of interest, why would the older one be home sat-sun and the younger fri-sun? Would they be at different schools or are those the routines they have elected?

I posted it yesterday Oreo. They woudl be at different schools. Which although I know woudl be a bit of a drag. They are different kinds of schools and they are different kinds of girls. Both bright but eldest quite kinda intellectual, and academically keen and the younger kne much more arty, drama not so bookish.

I just panic and feel sorry for the youngest who is 8 who will be left home alone. Probably should be chatting this through wiht friends but is a quite unusual issue and everyone has their own take on the boarding thing, Maybe a therapist is what I need!

I did post a few weeks ago on another thread shoudl we accept the offer..... I did accept it.. Now back tracking. am being a flake. Thanks for responding with your advice though.

Aw, I don't think you should back track. I think at the least you should try it until the youngest is 13 and eldest 16. It'll be fine!!

haven't told the 10 year old yet for sure if she can go or not.... She wants to go but can handle any outcome. They are waaAAAAY MORE CHILL than me!