stressed 10 year old

[countrylady]

Our dd wants to do 11+ in November, but finds the Maths papers very hard. In fact, she cries each time she tries one and makes mistakes or can't answer some of the questions. She is very bright but not academic as such.Her favourite subjects are art and sport. The school think she should try for the local girls' grammar, but she herself changes her mind from time to time. I feel upset to see her crying like this and wonder is this normal? Are we pushing her too hard? Will she find a grammar school too competitive? We just want her to be happy.

Countrylady - my dd sat the 11+ in November for entry this September - missed our specified school by 6 points! She had no coaching as felt that if she managed to pass she'd be in with a chance. We were both really laid back about it but a lot of mums (and dds) were crying on the day. It means such a lot to very many people. You can buy practice papers from WHS which can help - good luck

In January I sat my son down to do some practice 11+ questions one afternoon and we both got really, really stressed. Neither of us had any experience of 11+ papers and it felt like we were walking in the dark. However, when my son started coaching lessons he found the whole thing much easier. He goes for an hour on Saturday and he is in a small group of children with several helpers. These are mostly students who have taken the 11+ test themselves not so long ago and are familiar with it.

My son usually comes out of his class all smiles and says the work was ok or easy. His workbook has lots of ticks and encouraging comments from the helpers. I don't know if he is actually doing tests up to the 11+ standard or if he is working towards these, but whatever the method, the classes are certainly building his confidence far more than I could.

Thank you jampot and tigermoth. Maybe we should try and get some coaching, as you suggest, although it is quite expensive at £20 per hour in this area. Also, many of the tutors and classes are full now. When I've asked some mothers for the phone numbers of tutors that they use, as I am a bit anxious to have a stranger in my home, the mothers say they'll let me know and then never get back to me with the numbers. The class you mentioned, tigermoth, sounds ideal. I haven't seen anything like that advertised in our area, though.

why don't you ask one of the teachers at school if they do out of school lessons focussing on 11+ exams?

Thanks jampot for the sugggestion. Yes, I may well try that.

In our area there is an organisation that gives advice about independent schools and coaching for scholarships etc. The same people who coach for scholarships also coach for the 11+. There might well be a similar organisation in your area, so do some digging round. Try looking in yellow pages, asking your local council's education department or contacting one of the private schools in your area. My sons's private tuition costs £50.00 a calendar month (one hour each Saturday). It's cheaper because he does not have one to one with a tutor in our home. He joins a small class in a nearby community hall. He also isn't set homework (some private tutors do this I believe) so it isn't that intense. There are several organisations offering this service around here, for normal catch up, 11+ or scholarship coaching. It suits us, and most importantly, my son likes it. Though as I said, I haven't a clue if it is helping.