5 year old DS getting grief from a group of older girls...what shoudl he say to them

[katierocket]

DS is in reception - generally loving it, happy, good set of close friends but he said today he doesn't want to go to school and it turns out that a group of older girls (year 2 I think) are being pretty horrible to him in the playground. Shouting at him and bossing him around. I've spoken to his teacher and hopefully she will sort out but what should I tell him to say to them if it happens again?

I told him to tell them that they were being horrible and to leave him alone and to tell a teacher if they carried on but should I suggest he shouts back - I don't know, shouts "leave me alone" or something or would that just fan the fire.

God it makes you feel shite when stuff like this happens.

Oh dear - your poor DS.

I would tell him to tell a teacher whenever it happens.

Our school has a system where some older children are there for the little ones to go to if anything like that happens or even if they just have no-one to play with.

Is there usually a teacher in the playground?

When my Ds started in Reception he (and others) struggled just with the whole concept and his teacher was great. She got all the teachers who do playground duty to come into the class at various times to read a story or just talk to the children so that they weren't "strangers". It seemd to help.

Thanks Buda - yes there is a teacher in the playground and I know he has told them once but when it happened yesterday I don't think he said anything. I'm hoping that his class teacher will nip it in the bud. She did say that she thought she probably knew who it was and that she would speak to him about it (so he feels a bit more confident that he is backed up). I just don't know whether he should be sticking up for himself a bit more. He's not shy but he is quite sensitive. It can't be nice having five or so 7-year olds shouting at you.

katierocket aww bless your ds

hopefully the school will sort it out
and nip it in the bud

you could also tell him to just ignore them and walk away and tell a teacher
hope it gets sorted soon
xxx

I wouldn't advise telling him to shout back - I reckon that'll make them worse. I would encourage him to ignore them as much as he can, but if he can't to go and talk to a dinner lady or whoever supervises the playground at lunch time. I've found that ofthen these people have a better idea of what's going on in the playground tha the teachers do! I don't suppose you know any of the older children in the school do you? Or is there a system where the year 5s and 6s take turns to look out for the little ones? At our school, there are people called 'yellow hats" (because they wear...obviously!) who are big ones who have volunteered to watch out for the littles in the playground. They are often VERY good at sorting out problems without it having to go to the teachers. Hope this helps.

yes perhaps you're all right about telling him to ignore it. He said he did move away from them yesterday but that they were following him round yesterday.

I'm not sure if they have any kind of system where older ones look out for younger ones, sounds like a great idea though. I will ask his teacher about it.

I would suggest that the teacher pals him up with an older (than these girls) child, so that if it happens he can go and tell this child and said child intervene and alert someone pretty quickly if needs be.

Our school has something like this (not just for bullying incidents) they call it playground pals. It's brilliant.

xposts with curlew!

DD's old school had "playground buddies" too.

We have a playground buddies system. It seems to work OK. Our school had a terrible bullying problem until about 10 yrs ago - then the new head started, they shortened the breaks and now school finishes at 3.10 and they brought in the buddies system. It made a big difference.

How about 'go and play with kids your own age!'??

I'll ask them about playground buddies/pals. I don't think they have a problem with bullying generally but things can easily get out of hand can't they. I'm really hoping he's had a better day today.

If you find out that you do have "buddies' or "yellow hats" or similar, it might be worth your while having a word with one of them and asking them to look out for your ds in particular. They love this (my dd was a yellow hat last year and she was bursting with pride because a reception mum asked her to look after her ds -a very shy quiet summer born- at lunchtime!)

Katie, I think this is a really important issue that the school need to be dealing with actually. If they are mixing the age groups in the playground, they MUST have a better system in place, such as the 'buddy' system where a reception child is known to an older child who will look out for them.

My ds is also in reception and luckily the school have a small seperate playground where the reception kids play - it's not until much later in the year that they will be gradually integrated into the main playground, once their confidence is up. DS does find the main playground intimidating in the mornings when we go in and there are all year groups going mad out there! Not all schools have the luxury of a reception area seperated, I know, but in that case they need some more support in place for the reception kids - just having a teacher about is not enough - it's putting too much responsibility on the kids to deal with problems, when at this stage of reception the school needs to be more proactively supporting the kids, in my view.

Thanks sunny - they do have a separate reception area which they use but at lunchtimes they are all in the main playground. I will make sure I'm satisfied that the school are dealing with it and I do think it's the sort of thing that could easily escalate (although hopefully not).