Turning Down Eton

[Indy5]

To anyone who has done/is doing this (other than for reason of cost alone), then why, where did you choose, and did you regret your decision?

Just curious as the waiting list does move some as I heard around 40% on waiting list eventually get in which seems high, if correct. Wondered other than cost, it was mostly those who also applied to places like Westminster, St. Paul's, Winchester or day, and kept both options open for a while and then preferred the other choices.

I know two boys whose families did this. One because they emigrated (a move which hadn't been on the cards at pretest time) and one because the boy decided that he didn't want to board and he went instead to a (well regarded) day school.

Indy5 , we turned down Eton as my DS wasn't sure he wanted to board . I think that anyone that goes to Eton really wants to as it is a completely different way of life . We thought about the offer for a year - chose a fabulous house with a great HM - but in the end he just wasn't sure enough . He has an offer from one of the other London Schools you mention above - now he only has to get 70% in his CE ! Couldn't praise Eton highly enough - but my DS is happier now he has made his decision .

I know several families that have turned down Eton. Some choosing the day v boarding option and others because they felt the school was too big and couldn't get their heads round how their DS would fulfil his potential surrounded by 250 other super talented boys in the year group. No one has anything bad to say about the school. It is a personal, boy focused decision. No one regrets their decision as boys are thriving where they are.

We are another who turned down Eton. Eton is an amazing school and I'm sure our DS would have done very well there but we just didn't feel a connect with it. We are not London based and I sometImes feel (from the many threads on mumsnet) that we don't get the whole London obsession with the schools and the competition to get in. On hindsight I suppose we were very naive and just went with our gut as we had nothing else to base it on and when the schools are at that level they are all good schools it is just about getting the right fit.

DS did the Eton test on the basis of advice from his prep school HM. He wasn't offered a place, but - had he have been - we may well have turned it down, as we hadn't decided at that time which was the right school for him. We put him in for the test on the basis that if he was offered we had a choice about accepting, and if he wasn't offered it wasn't a problem, as our minds were not made up.

I know of at least one boy who has turned down an Eton offer in favour of another boarding school.

we are currently on the waitlist so it would be very helpful to continue this thread, and if you are still uncertain about your decision when do you decide by. and on what basis. ie music scholarship? bursar? academic? and if any one knows when the first term fees become payable as I assume that is a huge incentive for people to finally make up their minds.

Are you on the waitlist to start in sept 2016 ie year 8 now?

Places come free all the time. There are little surges eg end of year 7 summer term, and start of year 8 being obvious ones. I don't think any more money beyond the initial registration until around the same time as boys have to commit to which school will mark their CE papers, which I think is march year 8. One would assume there would be v few places after that, but a friend of mine's son was offered a place 3 days before sitting CE, so somehow people are still deciding then.

We were on the waiting list in 2010 (for 2012 entry). For that year there was virtually no movement until March 2012. I think this was mainly because 28 February is the date you have to let the ISEB know which school will be marking the CE papers, and that's when parents really do have to make the final decision. Also, the music scholarships are done in January so that would affect the decision of some people. There was one case of a boy actually unpacking his stuff at Harrow on the first day of term when his parents got the call that he had got a place at Eton!

People holding places do have to pay an acceptance fee (usually about £1500) about a year to 18 months in advance, but this didn't seem to deter some people from hanging on to two or more school places.

It certainly happens in London where wealthy parents, sometimes not sure about English boarding school traditions, will hang on to Eton and London day school places until the very last minute.

We also are among the (possibly small and exclusive!) group to have turned down a place at Eton.

If you're reading this because you're on the waitlist I'd say that yes we did hold onto the offer for a shamefully long time - probably until Feb of the year DS would have joined - because letting it go was a very tough decision which took a long time to reach. So take heart: waitlists can move quite late.

If you're holding an offer and undecided, I'd say:

• We're not an OE family. Rather were put up to applying by prep school head. So genuinely open minded. *We were VERY taken by the school, the house we chose, and the whole process. Incredibly impressive. But in the end our choice was for a London Day school. *The factors for us were:

1. DS's wishes - he preferred day - though don't overweight this factor. At 12 they dont really know
2. Nagging concern about the big brand stamp we'd be putting on the poor chap's forehead for the rest of his life. Is it a positive... is it a negative? It's certainly a huge factor - uniquely so for Eton. In the end we felt it a slight risk and hence negative
3. Cost of boarding. We might have worn putting a single son through. Maybe even two - but we have three of the little blighters. Bursary systems dont really account for this... nor perhaps should they. So it was a 'whole family' decision. DS2 has followed DS1 to aforementioned London Day with out having to endure the indignity of the 13+ circus.

Do we regret it? In occasional whimsical moments or when the Tatler Schools guide thuds into my inbox, we maybe reflect on the road not taken. Much more frequently though, as we listen to the tone of public discourse, which approached open class-warfare during the 2019 general election, we feel we may have dodged a bullet.

And we're super happy with the London Day we opted for in the end. Hope this is helpful to anyone reading and grappling with what is, after all, a VERY first world problem!

Ive had three go through/going through,we are what I suppose youd call an Eton family-DH etc, but of course we realise the school isnt for everyone,and its a very different school than it was even 20 years ago,which is why we looked at other schools for two of the boys,but in the end we decided it was the best school for all three over what will be a twelve year period
We are aware of a few boys who have not taken up the place offered,one for pure financial change of circumstances reasons,two because they decided that they would rather be day pupils elsewhere( interestingly both boys now regret that decision)one because they got a major scholarship /bursary elsewhere.
Eton isnt for everyone ,its very competitive and some boys that have ruled the roost at prep school find that very hard,you are given personal responsibility the moment you arrive-those posters on mumsnet who talk about handholding at private schools have clearly never met an Etonian,but for the right boy who is bright but has other interests or is open to new things I doubt if there is a better school available,our boys and the boys we know are proud to be Etonians as they know the reality rather than the rubbish in the public domain,its a stamp they are proud to wear.

5 yr old thread !!

Quite. I posted on this thread (under a different user name) and my DS left two and a half years ago!

I would agree that it's a great school but not for everybody.

DS preferred another, equivalent school- so with offers from both we were relaxed about the choice. This was based on a sense of which was a better fit for DS and us as a family. I think the admissions processes, which are so different, will leave boys feeling a strong preference for one or the other. For us this was partly at least because at our chosen school they invest early in the choice of House and can envisage themselves there- it remains uncertain for longer for schools that offer the place THEN address the House question. DS's prep sends far more boys to Eton so the other does feel a little like 'the road less taken' and DS has opted for the school rather than going with lots of friends. It might be that in preps which send large numbers to Eton the boys are less awed by the brand and turning a place down is easier.