DS1 gets in such a state over Y5 maths homework.

[Alandlew]

Thursday night is maths homework night for ds1 and he dreads it. He is in the top group for numeracy and literacy and at parents evening his teacher said he was doing brilliantly. He has a separate teacher for maths as they are divided into ability groups. She says he is doing fine byt just needs to speed up. He comes home upset though as whenever they have a test he gets the lowest marks in the group. When he gets his homework he gets in a right state, saying he is thick and he can't do it. When I finally calm him down and sit with him and talk him through it he eventually manages it though it seems to take him ages. I sit with him and help him otherwise he panics but I worry that if I help him too much he won't be able to do it by himself at school. When I mentioned to his teacher about him moving down a
group she said that his maths teacher hadn't mentioned it and she didn't think he would need to. When I said to ds that maybe I should make an appointment to see his maths teacher he begs me not to as he doesn't want to move down and leave his friends, and then he says he must be really thick if he gets moved down. He is way above average in all other subjects. I just don't know what to do for the best in this situation.

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Thanks Twiglett. What you said abou itnot mattering if he gets one wrong hits the nail on the head. He is such a perfectionist which is half his trouble.

I have a similar problem with my DS aged 10 in Yr 5 although his is in literacy, so in reverse from your son.
I have had some titanic struggles, he is a gifted child, psychologically certifed LOL
What we did was leave a LOT of one on one time to do it, so he would do it while I was preparing dinner and we'd laugh and joke about some of the questions... I'd also set a target of race you, if I finish peeling the carrots before you finsh the first 5 questions then you hoover the living room, all done with light humour, also went through the work first, discussing what was required, identifying together any aspects he may struggle with...
It has really helped and now his confidence has been restored altogether, it is so hard when you know they are so clever - too clever for the shcool system and structure is how I perceive it at times!

DS2 is in Y6 - a very able child in a pretty high-powered primary school - and they just don't do this, I don't understand why some schools do.

I can see that giving them homework is probably a good idea in principle, as it gets them used to doing it; but not for them to take it so seriously or get so worked up about it - especially when they are working in groups which are geared to ability.

Any primary school teachers out there (popsy? who else?) care to comment?

My dd in year 4 sometimes gets v worked up about maths homework too yet her teachers always tell me she is in the top group for maths and that she doesnt panic or seem to worry about it in class. For her I think its partly that she is used to being one of the very best at literacy & arty stuff, and feels she should be better than she is at maths. I also think it is to do with the mother/child relationship as it reminds me of parents teaching their offspring to drive or whatever. Rarely a good idea! I was probably similar with maths at secondary school, quite OK at it really because I was conscientious but didnt have a natural understanding of it. Yet wanted to be the best at everything.
My dd wouldnt want to change groups either. I think the advice about learning strategies to cope with the worry is really sensible.

Thanks for your replies. Had a bit more success this week though his homework still seemed to take
a lot longer than it should. We spread it out and he done some of it over 3 nights. One page of it was subtractions in the thousands,20 sums in all, then there were 10 problems to solve, which involved quite a bit of working out. When he panicked I just made light of it,told him he could do it and to work out one bit at a time,instead of looking at the whole complicated question.
On top of this there is spellings to do,supposedly 20 minutes reading everynight. Luckily he finds these really easy. We also have odd bits of work bought home to finish. I think children who are less able all round must really struggle to cope. I am sure it is too young for them to have all this homework.
I didn't have homework until 11 when I went to grammar school and I got my O levels so it didn't
hurt me whereas my children have had homework since reception.