School want to do a CAF for DS...what does that mean?

[Grockle]

I am not sure what this means - I've seen the form but I don't really understand what it's for. They said it would help DS transition to new school but that I don't have to share it if I don't want to. But it will be registered.

Is he having problems of some sort? We ( sil and I) agrees to this for my nephew- best thing we ever did! He has made such a turn around in 12 months! Basically, all agencies necessary will coordinate with each other( and you) to provide a tailored package of support. Regular monitoring meeting( which you will attend and have input into) and great support. Can't recommend it highly enough.

Lots of self-esteem issues & negative thinking. I've got him some support from Young Carers (I've been unwell) but school think he may need more support in future.

I'm glad it was good for you jodi...I'm terrified that it means a social worker will come along and whisk DS away

Common assessment framework. It will identify his needs and how best to help him meet them using all involved agencies and resources. It can access some money to buy in services. It's a good thing don't worry.

It's so that a social worker doesn't need to get involved. It's to help. I write them a to so feel free to ask more.

Thank you. I'm used to being on the other end of this sort of stuff. I suggest to parents that they might need a CAF (even though I know so little about them ) but never imagined I'd be doing this for my own DS.

Thank you - I'm a bit relieved.

Don't suppose anyone knows... does it need to be shared with non-resident parent? I'd really rather he didn't know some things.

Thanks ledkr - I'm going to work on it tomorrow. If I get stuck, I might need to ask you for help, if that's still ok.

Grockle - Please don't worry, social work has come a long way from when we were young. The priorities now are to support families to stay together - even if in the future a social worker did make contact with you, it would purely be to provide you with support not to whisk your LO away.

As for sharing with non-resident parents, you know your relationship with DS's Dad best but this is a process to acknowledge that your DS might need a little bit of help. I would really examine your reasons for keeping that from your son's Dad. My ex-H would be very upset if he wasn't fully aware of our DS's needs.

No worries x

Btw a caf is not normally used if social care are involved.

Blotted, in the past DS's father has taken DS and refused me access. He tried to gain sole custody of DS & tried to have me deported. We had a very long, drawn out, unpleasant custody battle and DS lives with me, whilst his father lives overseas. DS sees him once or twice a year (for anything between 2 and 6 weeks) but speaks to him often.

ExH has tried to use all sorts of information against me in the past, to try to gain custody so I don't trust him at all.

Thank you ledkr

my son is on one, early days as yet but it is nothing to be worried about. He has had some counselling and I have been to meetings with HTLA and Ed Psych. Hard to say if it is helping yet but it is certainly not making things any worse. Am a teacher so, like you, have experienced interventions from both perspectives.

Nephew's dad is non-resident and nobody suggested to sil that he would have to be involved. The issue was not forced. Don't worry about that. X

Grockle - I wasn't meaning to pry, it's your business x

Ok, thanks all. This sounds like a positive thing...it was me who first raised concerns & I've been working with school to help DS. They are just concerned that they may not be enough & that the transition to a new school will be hard for DS so they want to be able to help that go as smoothly as possible.

CAFs can be a brilliant support and are not done lightly as the paperwork for the initiator can be quite time consuming BUT at least you know experienced people are on board and you can meet all involved in supporting you with your DS through this (possibly) difficult period.

'weak' is a rather unhelpful way of putting it

kathy

Charming post Kathy, it is not a sign of weakness at all, it is a tool to ensure the best level of care and support available for the child is put in place.

Do Not Feed The Troll.

Before agreeing I would ask them to clarify what it's for, who will read it and have input into it and how it will change things for your ds. What kind of problems is your ds having? I agree to ds having one as I needed it to access respite for my ds. But I would not necessarily agree for a rather woolly reason like because he will have problems later. It will mean some intrusion into your life and probably some meetings with a load of professionals. I am not saying it is a bad things but you need much more info from the school. If your ds is having issues educationally then would statutory assessment be more useful? If he has emotional problems would a referral for counselling be more useful? Filling in this form in my view can sometimes just be a way of school passing the problem on and ticking the box to say they have done something.

Thanks cansu... DS has said he thought he should kill himself to make life easier for me (when I was unwell) He also worried that I would die & had made a plan of where to live & how to get there. I have suspected ME so not life threatening at all but quite disabling when I'm having a bad phase (I use crutches or a wheelchair). He cannot tell anyone any good things about himself, despite us constantly telling him positive things about himself. He is never honest about how he feels and tells people what he thinks they want to hear, much like me saying I'm fine when I feel awful, I suppose. E.g. he has told me he doesn't want to spend 6 weeks with his dad in the summer because he'd miss me & home too much. He won't tell his dad that because he doesn't want to hurt his feelings.

I've got him some support from Young Carers and he sees his support worker once a week atm. School are concerned about his pattern of thinking (they had no idea what was going on til I told them) So, I think a CAF may be the way forward.

Academically, he's amazing - above average for everything & loves learning. Just not in school - he wants to be home with me. I have met with the head then the deputy head & head already. Next meeting, once I've completed the CAf would be with head, deputy, class teacher, nurture group teacher & possibly someone from the junior school.

I am very wary of outside agnecies being involved. School said they couldn't share any of it with anyone without my consent but I still feel wary.

Try not to be wary of outside agencies Grockle it's suprising what they can do to help. You still have a right to refuse until you feel comfortable of course.

IMHO It sounds like your DS is trying to get his head around your possible diagnosis. Do you know if he has all the appropriate facts for his age so that he is not left guessing? He also sounds like he's trying to be the 'good boy' so as not to make things worse. If you haven't already you might need to explain to him that whatever HE does wont make a difference to an illness that has its own path and the medication will be the thing that makes the difference.

Much love to you both

It's so that everyone involved has the same information and you don't have to go through everything again every time you see a different agency or person.
good info here