Mrs I actually think 2 is preferable as if they bottle it on the first they can pick up points on the second when they've got used to it.Telling myself that anyway.
We're dealing with it by making them presume they'll go to the feeder(bigging it up accordingly),giving the grammar a punt but looking forward to secondary as a whole wherever they go iykwim.
At the moment tbh with one of mine the idea of a lunch card and mobile phone next year regardless of where he's going is causing a lot excitement.That said a lot doesn't ride on them getting places,alternative is absolutely fine and actually has some benefits.
Tbh nobody is guaranteed a place and anything can happen on the day so it's pointless planning on preferences and best to not put too much stock into it.Knowing my luck I'll over cook the alternative,they'll get grammar places and be gutted.
The not knowing for me as a mum is a pita though.