encouragement for good behaviour - sad faces

[mumofthreebeauties]

DS who is 5 has now got a behavioural chart.

Each day is split into 8 chunks and he can geta sticker for each part. Today (day1) he got 5 stickers and 3 sad faces.

i have to say looking at it he did well but the sad faces override the stickers (they are a lot biger and hand written.

Should I ask for just a blank line to be left so I can congratulate him on the stickers.

I've never worked with sticker charts before - what would be a reasonable treat and for how many stickers? Is it a treat per day or at the end of the week?

Who is doing the chart? They should not be using sad faces without a lot of thought. These things work much better if ONLY positive behaviour is reinforced and negative behaviour is ignored (ie not recorded at all).

DD absolutely loved getting sad faces, so we just left the space blank or did a cross instead.

I was older... but I remember having stickers for good, and the stickers were crossed out again for bad. It made it more for us, and we were less likely to be naughty, because we didn't want our pretty sticker crossed over.

When I was going through a slightly sticky patch with ds I did a chart and only used smiley faces. I think he found sad faces - which I used a couple of times - extremely demotivating and tended to just give up. But he really liked the smiley faces, and only using them really made me concentrate on and reward ALL good behaviour, which made the whole experience much more positive. I could say, 'come on! eat another mouthful and you'll get another smiley face!' etc
4 smiley faces got a handful of chocolate raisins (ds is also very motivated by chocolate!) but tbh, it was the smiley faces that were the motivation in themselves.
We only used the chart for a brief period. He was 4.

dd2 has one of these at school, divided into 8. She gets a star for good behaviour, and a line through for naughty behaviour, or left blank. We don't issue treats, just lots of praise, but she is 7 so that may make a difference! If you were going to give a treat then make it at the end of the week, and I would suggest an "experience" (eg going to the park, swimming, cinema) rather than a "thing" (sweets or toys), but thats my own preference.

I posted without reading the other replies but I see I agree with Baka.

Thankyou

I think I will suggest a space to the teacher rather than a sad face.

I have told him he will get a treat for 8 stickers all in one day and maybe a treat for so many at the end of next week.

Like the idea of chocolate raisins - that would work.

I really wouldnt use sad stickers. I agree with leaving a space and what about using a range of good stickers eg happy face, excellent, great, good, star etc.

For a reward I would do something like spending time doing his favourite activity with him rather than food.

ooooh a teacher! I wish someone would teach these primary school teacher some simple behavioural techniques and explain about positive reinforcement. No sad stickers! There is research somewhere showing that rewarding positive behaviour is more effective for classroom management (when behaviour is challenging) than drawing attention to negative behaviour.

grrrrrr

I don't have TIME for more activities! And before anyone jumps on me, ds is at nursery today, so I couldn't be taking him to the park right now!

It could be doing a jigsaw, doesnt have to be big.

doesn't matter what the reward is as long as it is reinforcing for the child. This weeks reinforcers at home hsave included spinning tops, getting to sit under a blanket, a noddy car, a baby ball toy, a wandy glittery thing, chocolate buttons, a biscuit (those toys aren't all new by the way- he's not ready for sticker charts so I just take the toy away or hold a biscuit upand say "dressed first then toy/biscuit/whatever")

Anyway point is if food is the only thing that is really reinforcing then use it. There have been times when th only reinforcer that was strong enough to get ds1 to do anything was chocolate buttons, so that's what we used!

V. interesting! Saw ds teacher last night, agreed to start a chart at school, but didn't ask what method she will be using. My ds only works on praise,if he gets any negativity he just gives up! Will have to see Miss again i think.

Ds would never think like that. We do pretty much everything he wants to do and he would never connect doing a jigsaw or reading a book with a behaviour chart as we do those every day -he got Pooh and Piglet Meet A Heffalumps this morning before nursery. They are just everyday stuff. Likewise park, library etc. Chocolate raisins though....quite a different thing! That's a treat.

Not that he doesn't get chocolate anyway. He does. But he knows it is not as everyday as a book. I'm glad he doesn't think of books as treats, actually. He loves them to distraction, but not as a 'treat' - more like air!

I dont think baka meant that giving a book/ toy only when they have been good, it's more that you are acknowledging the good behaviour, "haven't you been good,lets play with this toy/read this book".you're making them feel good by giving them that time. Am i right Baka?

well my situation is different- ds1 has very limiuted reasoning so it's just a case of "get dressed then reward". "get down then reward" etc etc. My point was it doesn't matter what is used as a reward, providing the child wants it. I use pictures of washing machines and toilets as rewards as well. He does what I tell him to he gets the picture to look at. I wouldn't find a picture of a washing machine very rewarding (I find being paid rewarding- why I work), but he does so it can be used.

Oh, never mind. Suffice to say, for a couple of weeks, chocolate raisins worked. And I got to eat quite a few myself. Yum!

I sometimes forget quite how sugar-phobic MN is!

exactly, you have to find what works for you're child. God no-one told me how complicated motherhood would be!!!!

nope I'm lost- I thought I was agreeing with you aloha, ie if chocolate rasins work for you then use them. My original post on this was meant to be agreeing with you!

Just been out for an hour. Got to do the shopping list next!

Great replies. I agree with the bit about positive reinforcement. DS actually said to me Mrs XXXXX doens;t say well done that often.

Hope he's done well today. He's been off sick so far this week.

Kettle's boiled and my bit of papers waiting for allthe choc raisins

Oh Baka, I know! You are the queen of chocolate buttons!
I'm not really bovvered. I was a bit frustrated at how hard it is to explain why chocolate raisins worked for us (as opposed to reading a book which I do all blooming day anyway) without sounding defensive though.

aloha that was funny

Am I bovvered? Does my face look bovvered?
I realise everyone now thinks I am junk food queen and total chav-type person. Bugger.