Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

Offer to pay for school...

28 replies

CrystalStair · 11/03/2011 09:28

...if a relative offered to fund your 4 kids through private school would you go for it?

OP posts:
noddyholder · 11/03/2011 09:30

I know someone who does and she seems quite happy with it.They can afford it and there are no good schools near them as an alternative. It depends on how important it is to you and if you would feel indebted That is what would put me off

PlasticLentilWeaver · 11/03/2011 09:37

Any 'strings' attached? Must go to a specific school etc? must visit every week, whatever...

If not, I'd grab it and be eternally thankful

MollieO · 11/03/2011 09:37

Think it depends on whether there are any strings attached, eg particular school. I remember a thread on here where GPs offered to pay but expected the Ds to go to the same school as grandpa and dh and this was a boarding school. OP didn't want her Ds to go to that school and it caused a lot of family conflict..

Dozer · 11/03/2011 09:40

Must be minted relatives!

Don't think we would as wouldn't want to fee indebted, but guess it depends on the relationships.

AmDramMam · 11/03/2011 09:43

For me, it's about whether the particular school is right for the particular child. Visit the school (or schools if there is no one specific school under the conditions of the offer) and see how you feel about it in the context of your own DC's needs.

Both my DCs are down for private school but only because we visited all the local state and private schools, judged them under the same criteria and 'feel' and chose the one best for our DC's. It just to happened to be the private one and we are lucky that financially we had the choice.

If you like the school, I'd say definitely go for it.

Jubato · 11/03/2011 09:47

I know a lady with 3 kids whose private education are funded by GPs (no strings attached). Both parents are in good jobs. THey didn't even think twice because a)GPs are extremely wealthy and b)culturally for them, it seems very natural for GPs to help/be involved if they can do so. Extended family for them is very close knit.

GORGEOUSX · 11/03/2011 11:46

Are you seriously saying someone has offered to pay for FOUR dcs education and you're posting on here?

I'm guessing it would cost at least £300,000, and could easily cost half a million pounds, depending on which schools they go to. Hmm

figcake · 11/03/2011 11:58

Indecent proposal, MN exclusive

GORGEOUSX · 11/03/2011 12:04

LOL!

willali · 11/03/2011 12:42

Sounds great but....

Is this to cover all schooling or just primary / just senior - be sure this is agreed up front

Have GP's had good tax advice re IHT

Will any other potential beneficiaries of their estate been consulted - what will they think of "their" inheritance being spent in this way

What happens if they die during the education - will continuing payment be guaranteed

Is Capital avaialble to cover the whole costs or will you be relying on investment income over the period thus increasing uncertainty as to whether the pot will actually be big enough by the time the 3rd or 4th child goes through the system

Who pays for extras - a considerable proportion of private education costs

I don't think an offer lke this is as easy as it looks!!

Original poster
CrystalStair · 16/03/2011 14:32

Willali - you make good points we'd need to consider re wills/inheritance etc. Has children of own who might feel odd if this situation arose - they are both nearly out of school though.

Yes, this relative is very wealthy - capital not a problem at all and no strings attached re choice of school etc. Am more concerned about family relationships since this idea not discussed with the children's cousins' families. Also, assumptions about us being loaded because of the schooling they might be having. The person in question wouldn't want it shouted about.

We could afford the extras just not the whole deal.

OP posts:
Granny23 · 16/03/2011 14:56

GPs of family I know offered to pay for 2 x DS to attend private school from last year of primary onwards. DS1 now half way through and DS2 just started. BUT - GP's income came from Bank Shares - now virtually worthless and paying no dividends. GPs struggling financially, meanwhile DH's business is on the verge of collapse, DW working FT but cracking up under the strain. Everything mortgaged up to the hilt to pay school fees/expenses and 2 x University still to come.

Is it worth it? My take is that if the DCs are not hugely acedemic then state school, college, apprenticeship, trade (Joiner, car mechanic, computer repairs, chef, hairdresser, etc.) with a substantial cash injection from parents/GPs when they are ready to start their own business, is the way to go. Less pressure on the family and the young people, less debt, more opportunity to stand on your own 2 feet and make your own way in the world.

BarbaraBar · 16/03/2011 14:59

Be careful.

A friend of mine had an offer like this for her 3 children. All the children started at private school and it all went swimmingly for a while until the youngest was in reception and relative pulled the plug and refused to fund anymore. No reason given for change of heart.

Children totally distraught, parents gutted.

CrystalChandelier · 16/03/2011 17:31

Caution advised: I heard an (admittedly second-hand) story of a family whose relative offering to pay school fees, only to reveal at the end of the first year that they only ever intended to pay for one year. The family nearly bankrupted themselves to cover the remaining years because they were too late to get their DCs into the kind of state secondaries they aspired to.

The suspicion was that the relative had no idea how much school fees cost when they made their kind offer. So I would be sure your equally kind relative is absolutely clear about how much they will be coughing up.

Hulababy · 16/03/2011 17:41

This can and does work for many people. I know of severa families where grandparents pay the fees, and others where another relative or godparent funds school fees.

However, before setting out on such a venture everythign needs to be clarifyied and you will need a good honest chat about how it works out long term:

  • what happens if and when fees go up each year?
  • what happens if the person paying dies? will the fees still be covered by the will?

etc.

maisiejoe123 · 16/03/2011 17:47

Why would someone offer to pay for FOUR children's education. Are other members of the family being offered this? Why you? What happens if you disagree on the choice of sschool, single sex, co ed etc.

We fund our two boys education ourselves and very expensive it is - however one set of GP's had a fit when they found out we were looking at senior boarding schools, very well known names. They thought they were all full of Lord this and Lady that! We had a huge argument, however we stuck to our guns because tbh we were paying for it and whilst people had opinions we would make the ultimate decision.

I wonder if funding it right up front might help i.e give all of the money until 18, if it is one school they will offer some sort of discount.

But I just cannot help wondering where this has all come from?

If I offered to pay for 4 relatives education I wouldnt be sitting back. I would want a say in the school, want to visit, have a opinion about the subjects covered, GCSE's etc, what if the school wasnt suitable. It would be hard enough as a parent managing one children through the private system let alone 4 and then if you had a 3rd party paying the bills.......

manicinsomniac · 17/03/2011 07:56

It would depend on the circumstances for me - age of the children currently, how they fare academically and socially in the state system etc. But, the likelihood is yes I would.

It's not at all unusual for grandparents to pay school fees. The school where I work has a special grandparents day in the summer for grandparents to come and tour the shcol, see special activities and lessons in progress and have cream tea on the lawn (yes, I know la di dah!) The reason - many f theose grandparents are footing the bill for it all!

amicissima · 17/03/2011 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lizziebee123 · 18/03/2011 10:21

Help, if anyone knows of guardian angel who would pay for my DS then please let me know. He has been offered a place at great school in Sept, I just can't afford it. Could when we first looked, long credit crunch story!
Definitely no strings attached though. Our alternative is a sink state school, I could weep.

Any advice?

Jubato · 18/03/2011 10:43

Sorry to hear Lizzie. Are there no scholarships/bursaries, etc?

Hope someone can give you some practical advise.

maisiejoe123 · 18/03/2011 11:19

Lizzie - move house. I know it is an easy thing to say and there are no easy answers but if you own your house, rent it out and then move somewhere else.

FloreatEtonia · 18/03/2011 13:48

I found the comment about others' inheritance being spent a bit Hmm!

Inheritance does not exist until someone dies and therefore no one has ir is owed inheritance. A person can do exactly what they like with their money!

FloreatEtonia · 18/03/2011 13:49

it not ir

curlymama · 18/03/2011 16:09

I thought that too Florea.

Original poster
CrystalStair · 18/03/2011 17:05

Thanks for all the advice. I am cautious for lots of reasons - mainly if we choose that route we'd rather be able to afford it ourselves - but the children are bright, especially the first two and it would be stupid to let my pride get in the way of their chances... This relative has already put his own kids through top boarding schools - more expensive than the one we'd go for and I'd never let my kids board anyway so he's well aware of costs.

He keeps asking if we've made up our minds - and no - wants no say in the school etc - all up to us. We've done a lot for him and his family in other ways...maybe he wants to say thanks and has the means to do more than some...

Undecided at this stage but appreciate comments - useful.

I know two kids at the local primary - where mine are now - who've been moved out to a private school, work worries so moved back after two terms, now Dad has new job so they're off there again after Easter. It's like ping pong. Not what I'd want to happen...

OP posts: