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Original poster

If your child started reception in September '05

53 replies

Earlybird · 15/10/2005 21:53

How are they settling in to school?
What are they like when they're not in school?

Asking because my dd has settled at school perfectly well - in fact, I couldn't have hoped for better. But she is an absolute nightmare in terms of at home behaviour. She is argumentative, demanding, belligerent....and I'm worn out. I know it's awful, but I'm hoping that some (or many ) of you are experiencing the same thing so I can take comfort in that fact...Let's commiserate - and who knows, maybe someone has a solution!

OP posts:
kid · 15/10/2005 21:57

DS didn't start reception but did go straight into fulltime nursery in September and he too is a complete nightmare at home (well most of the time).
I think its because he is so worn out when he comes home he is is extra miserable! I have days when I look forward to putting him to bed!

I'm sure it will get easier, he will adjust and get used to being more active during the day. As of next week he is going to have to walk home from nursery with me so that will just make him more tired which will mean he will be more miserable, GREAT!

Aimsmum · 15/10/2005 22:03

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Original poster
Earlybird · 15/10/2005 22:16

I think I'd feel alot better if I had reassurance from others who have either been there before, or who are going through it now, that this is simply a phase. My fear is that this is who she is now, and I'm afraid I don't much like it. And I don't like how I am in response. I feel wound up and struggle as to how to respond to this unpleasant behaviour. It doesn't work to ignore it, and I don't want to shout or feel angry with her so much of the time....

OP posts:
doormat · 15/10/2005 22:17

earlybird you have my commiserations as I have thee same prob

tortoiseshell · 15/10/2005 22:19

We've had a really bad few days with ds who started reception this September. But I'm sure it's over-tiredness. We've instigated a sticker chart which seems to be bringing the sweet boy back to us! I think it's really common though - loads of our friends are finding the same with their kids. Hope she settles down soon!

kid · 15/10/2005 22:22

I never had any trouble with DD, she settled in well and remained the good child she has always been. She had a few tantrums but they were few and far between. She started part time for a year and then went full-time. DS has been thrown in at the deepend with fulltime straight away which I think is why he is so tired.

I'm positive its a phase, I don't know how long it takes for them to adjust, I wish I did know so I could count down!

Aimsmum · 15/10/2005 22:23

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rummum · 15/10/2005 22:27

My son started year 3 and he has been the child from hell... I put him to bed the other night and he said this is the best bit of the day... bless him....
This last week he has been much better, almost back to his normal lovely self.
Hang in there... they will come through it
Hopefully soon...

Original poster
Earlybird · 15/10/2005 22:35

It does make me feel better to know that I'm not the only one. Her strops and demands force me into being the kind of mum I never wanted to be. She challenges me on absolutely everything at the moment, and there are far too many angry exchanges. Makes me feel bad about myself and her. And, tonight I've eaten far too much chocolate....and I don't even feel better for it!

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mixed · 15/10/2005 22:39

DS has also settled in well but tired and argumentive etc when he gets home (or on the way home). I leave him to watch TV for 1/2 or 1 hour with something to eat. After that he tends to be a bit better...

thimble · 15/10/2005 22:46

earlybird-i have had the day from hell-spent most of it in tears due to the almost out of control behaviour of ds! he is sooo defiant and unpleasant that I have felt that I really don't like him at all!
been in time out more times than I can number-he has been hitting me and dh-just awful. He started reception in September! he has always been a difficult child but manageable-now he is off the wall!
got him to bed at 6.30pm-there is some benefit to these dark nights!!!! couldn't stand much more-hit the red wine and ...the thorntons!!!

essbee · 15/10/2005 22:47

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Spatz · 15/10/2005 22:56

My DD has not settled well at all. She still cries at school in the morning at least half the time and says every night that she doesn't want to go to school. She also has dramas during the day.

Funnily enough she's fine at home apart from being tired. She's unbelievably hungry at 3.30.

I wonder if they are all really stressed and mine is expressing it in a different way

Gobbledispook · 15/10/2005 22:58

Ds1 did - he has settled well into school, until this week when he's been tearful going in and not wanting me to leave (I had a weekend away last weekend so I don't know if that's contributing). At home he is suddenly very stroppy and argumentative - if I say 'stop that right now' the reply is 'NO, I WON'T STOP" which is not the way he would speak to me before.

Gobbledispook · 15/10/2005 22:59

I too am putting it down to exhaustion on his part - he is not used to being out like this for so long each day. He only went to nursery in the mornings for 3.5 hrs previous to this so to be out of the house from 8.10 till 4pm is a big change for him.

Aimsmum · 15/10/2005 22:59

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Gobbledispook · 15/10/2005 23:03

Indeed! He will be so ready for half term by Friday! Not sure I will though

Aimsmum · 15/10/2005 23:06

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Original poster
Earlybird · 15/10/2005 23:17

Maybe dd is far more exhausted than I realise, and perhaps that is contributing to her bad behaviour. However, any attempts to get her to rest or go to bed are just another in a long line of things she resists. I do insist on her going to bed by 7 each evening, but her elaborate delaying tactics are yet another source of friction between us. There are exaggerated toilet scenes, playing in the water as she washes her hands, demands for bedtime stories, tears if I don't sing her a lullaby.....it goes on and on and on.....

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Original poster
Earlybird · 16/10/2005 08:33

DD must be completely exhausted - she's still asleep, which is completely unheard of!

Must confess I keep looking at the "parents to blame for unruly children" thread title, and wondering if that is true in this case....even though I know that thread is about a different kind of behaviour....

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Gobbledispook · 16/10/2005 08:56

No Earlybird - she is just exhausted from school - we are all going through it so we can't all be rubbish parents!!

thimble · 16/10/2005 09:09

of course we are to blame for everything!!!! Like you-ds appears to be ok in school-so I figure that he has to let his steam off somewhere! he seems better this am-but early still!!!

Original poster
Earlybird · 16/10/2005 09:38

We've already had a potential mini-strop this morning which I avoided by being unnaturally cheerful and ignoring her challenge....

OP posts:
Katemum · 16/10/2005 09:45

My ds started school in September and in the second week we where asked to go into school to discuss his bad behaviour. At home he was behaving appalingly as well. Since then he has calmed down, is better behaved at home and is enjoying school. It was a rough start to his school career.

Witchycat · 16/10/2005 09:47

Earlybird - just wanted to say 'me too'. DS started FT in Reception last month. He was only 4 in July and despite having been used to 2 full days pw at nursery, I think there is just so much to take in and doing a whole 5 days is exhausting for them.

My ds too, refuses to sleep in the day Sat/Sun and as a result is a ball of argumentative frantic 'pretend' energy, IYKWIM, one minute and a limp rag through tiredness the next.

I also think, although he's fine with the discipline at school & does what he's told, being in that more structured arena means he wants to 'kick off' more when he's home. So combined with tiredness, the result is more aggressive, argumentative behaviour at home.

It's a huge change period for them and they don't yet have the words or even thoughts to say/know how they feel so I guess some negative behaviour change is to be expected. (THat's what I'm telling myself anyway )

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