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Original poster

single sex schools

39 replies

bemybaby · 09/10/2005 22:18

Are they a good thing or not? I went to one and made friends for life but also felt i missed out on male friends who were friends not boyfriends if you see what i mean. What do others think?

OP posts:
Socci · 09/10/2005 22:20

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ladymuck · 09/10/2005 22:53

In some ways I felt that I had the best of both - boys and girls school on the same site (though mainly separate buildings) but could meet up at break and lunch, and there were various joint activities. If you wanted to mix, plenty of opportuity, and if you didn't then no pressure. Joint lessons in the 6th form (with a joint building, though girls still had a separate common room in the main girls building as well.

Not a great preparation for my uni course (seemed to be 8:1 male:female) which was a bit intimidating.

Ds1 has just started at a boys school. It took him a little while to realise that there weren't any girls!

JoolsToo · 09/10/2005 22:54

I like 'em

RTKMonherBROOMSTICK · 09/10/2005 23:03

DH teaches at Boys private school {senior} and he went single sex all schools from 4 upwards

I went to mixed all the way up

DS will hopefully go to DH school next year or local Boys grammar

There are lots of joint activities with corresponding girls schools with both of them

I think it is a shame before age 11 though

We did think about prep for DS but I wanted him to stay in mixed as his best friends at primary are girls

lockets · 09/10/2005 23:25

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BaronessMarsLady · 09/10/2005 23:30

same as lockets.

hopefully DD1 will get into the all girls school of my choice. Not worried about her mixing with boys. She has an older brother, lots of friends who are boys and lots of friends with brothers. So she'll get to mix with them.

JoolsToo · 09/10/2005 23:31

same as those two below me

lockets · 09/10/2005 23:34

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snailspace · 10/10/2005 00:05

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Rarrie · 10/10/2005 01:33

I taught at a state girls' school. If I were able to choose for my children, I would probably choose single sex for ,my DDs and mixed for my DSs. In my limited experience, I found the atmosphere to be more worklike in a girls school, more productive and less accepting of bad behaviour. However, it could also get quite bitchy at times, so you have to not mind all that side of things.

The local boys school I think didn't do so well in a single sex environment. It was very much based on shouting and keeping the boys under control (unlike the girls' school which was all about empowering them) and I think at times, the teachers there found it quite difficult to inspire the boys to work hard and achieve.

But that's just limited experience of a couple of single sex schools, I'm sure others are different!!

slug · 10/10/2005 11:24

Research suggests that, academically at least, girls do better at single sex schools and boys do better at mixed sex schools. Of course this doesn't address the social aspect. I had friends who went to single sex secondary school who had very unhealthy relationships with men (Extremly older boyfriends etc) or found it difficult to relate to women as humans (in the case of the boys) But they were by no means in the majority.

buffytheharpsichordcarrier · 10/10/2005 11:48

personally I think that single sex schools are a bizarre way to educate children for the real world. bad for girls, worse for boys. I think a very big part of the school experience is learning how to deal with other people - why you would want to restrict this to people of the same sex I just can't understand.
FWIW I was mixed all the way down the line, dh was at an all boys school and I spend a fair bit of time helping out in mixed primary schools and single sex secondaries. The atmosphere in the girls' school is NOT what I would choose for my dd.

swedishmum · 10/10/2005 11:48

Dd is enjoying her single sex grammar (y7) - they certainly have more mixed events than when I was at school. She mixes with boys on the bus too.

expatinscotland · 10/10/2005 11:50

I went to an all-girls school for primary. I switched to a non-fee-paying one for high school, but my sister went to the same one for high as well as primary. Doesn't seem to have done her any harm.

Fangache · 10/10/2005 11:51

I don't understand the concept of segregation!! I mean WHY do that?? Its totally unnatural. No where in normal adult day to day life are you actively separated into a single sex environment apart from going to the toilet! So really can't see why anyone would want to send a child to a single sex school (unless it was the best school in the area).

In fact, I can't believe there are still single sex schools!

ladymuck · 10/10/2005 12:04

Ummm, actually I think there is a huge amount of segregation in adult life. I spend a lot of my days with other females (mums at home with toddlers). Dh works in a mainly male environment in the city, plays footie (again a male team) and golf (ditto). We do some socialising with other couples, but not much different from "after school" stuff done by people at single-sex schools.

As for choosing a single sex school, well we felt it was the best one for ds1. We have a number of good schools in the area, but this one felt right for him. And of course as soon as you enter the classrooms, library etc you see so much that is of interest for boys (in particular our one). Not everybody?s cup of tea, and I wouldn't inflict single sex schools on the masses as it were, but for some of us they do suit us very well! Ds1 has had a really positive start to his school life, and we're really pleased with our choice!

Lucycat · 10/10/2005 12:05

I went to a single sex school and loved it, there was none of the pressure to impress the boys and the work ethic was very strong in the girls, both of these things really stood out to me when I later taught in a mixed comp. Ours was the last single sex school in the authority due to a large number of Muslim parents who were also very influential - it's all changed now of course but I loved it!

ladymuck · 10/10/2005 12:06

Sorry - our socialising is different from after-school (at least I didn't go to the pub whilst I was a primary school), what I meant was the amount of time spent etc - so dh and I spend our "working day" in mainly single sex environments, but then socialise outside of them.

Enid · 10/10/2005 12:06

enjoyed it, had tons of boyfriends and never had a problem making friends with boys either

Enid · 10/10/2005 12:07

dh went to an all boys school and has lots of female friends too

buffytheharpsichordcarrier · 10/10/2005 12:13

but Ladymuck do you think that segregation between the sexes in adult life is a good thing? I certainly do not. and I think one is often a consequence of the other, i.e. the boy's club", or "women's work". it does my head in.
yes I think confident children will be fine at making friends outside a single sex school and of course if you're gorgeous Enid then you will always get boyfriends but it's still unhealthy IMO

ladymuck · 10/10/2005 12:19

I think that a certain amount of segregation tends to happen naturally, and even within our socialising, the men will often be at the bar whilst the women are nattering around the tables (or the women congregate in the kitchen whilst the blokes take over the lounge). Neither good nor bad, just natural.

Fangache · 10/10/2005 12:22

Ladymuck - I don't think any of the segregation you have mentioned compares to the forced segragation at school!!! I worked in the Construction Industry and hardly ever saw another woman..... however.... women were allowed and I think thats the big difference.

Gobbledispook · 10/10/2005 12:22

Same as Lockets. Going to single sex secondary was fine - met boys outside of school and had 2 brothers so they weren't alien to me!

Fangache · 10/10/2005 12:26

I don't think its particularly damaging for a child to go to a single sex school.... I just really don't see the point. I mean why go to all that effort to separate the sexes?? I'm not saying it has a detrimental effect... but I can't see any benefits.

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