Should I be this upset and angry.......................

[mymama]

My dd started at a brand new school this year (Gr 2) and joined the choir when it started in Feb. After 6 months she gave it up and then realised 2 weeks later she wanted to go back. The music teacher told her she couldn't rejoin until after the official opening ceremony for the school (today). Arrive at opening today to find a new girl only at school 3 weeks singing in the choir!!!!!! My dd was only girl in class not up there singing . This opening was a big deal with all of the bigwig politicians etc there. I feel so angry and upset that this new girl joined in and my dd was not allowed. Should I talk to teacher about how upset I am????

Two completely different deals had been struck between the teacher and his two students. You only know the details of your daughter's deal.

Why should the new girl miss out because your daughter decided she wanted to give up and then changed her mind?

They are two different situations, the fact that your dd was the only girl in the class not singing was entirely down to her decision.

Not what you wanted to hear - sorry.

If your dd was in the choir 6months it does seem strange they wouldnt let her back straight away but they let the other girl in.If she is allowed back now though is there any point in saying something? I guess it just depends how upset you are.No harm in asking why though.

bobbybob - didn't care the new girl was in just that my dd was excluded. The reason given to my dd for not being allowed back in was that she wouldn't learn the song in time - how did the new girl learn it in 3 weeks??? I guess I am really upset because she can't get this day back - there is never going to be an official opening again with tv reps etc. Just for further info - the choir is completely voluntary and if you don't want to participate you watch dvds for the afternoon - needless to say my dd had a "slack" day and wanted to watch the dvd that day instead. I guess she didn't realise the consequences of her actions. I am starting to calm down now that I have had time out. Go to pick her up in 1/2 hour so may just mention to teacher about disappointment.

I think I'd see it as a good learning opportunity for your dd (about commitment) tbh. Don't think its a bad lesson to learn.

As a teacher, I think I would have done the same and said the same - ie. you can?t just drop something and then pick it up when it suits you. The group needs to stick together, practise hard etc. The fact that she is allowed back in after the next concert seems really reasonable. I bet the teacher hadn?t considered the posisbility of a new child at that point but as one arrived, only fair to let the new girl in. I am sure it was more about teaching your DD (and the other girls in the choir) a lesson about commitment and work rather than a punishment. The line about not enough time to learnt the song was probably a softener to help her understand IYKWIM.
I wouldn?t be angry with the teacher - let her learn and rejoin.
Sorry if that seems harsh.

Thanks for the comments. I am over myself now. Picked up dd this afternoon and asked her about it and she really didn't care - in her innocent words "I already know that song I didn't need to learn it". We did have the conversation about sticking with things and seeing them out.

Just had to add that I realise she needs to learn the "life" lessons but as she is only 6 (and my first child) I am still a little too overprotective I guess

I disagree with the others and think it is rather harsh to treat a 6 yr old in this way. Of course she has to learn about commitment but she's only 6 for goodness sake!! And she missed out on a major event which imo is just mean.

Mymama, I read this and would have agreed with the other posters as I thought she was at secondary school. I would actually think that if the choir is in school time then everyone might as well be in it, if so few opt out and drop the DVD session

skate - I was disappointed because such a major event - talking heads of state etc etc.

ztt - the choir is on weds from 2 to 3 during class - if you don't want to do choir you get to watch dvd in library - what 6yo is going to want to do that occasionally!!! They should have to do school work.

I am feeling better about it but just had it rubbed in my face further - evening news carried the story of the opening and the new girl singing in the choir was plastered all over it!!!!!! /

Okay the fact that she is 6 makes it a tough lesson at an early age. The teacher's excuse rather backfired because of letting the other girl sing. I'm more on the fence now than I was, but I still don't think it's worth saying anything to the teacher.

Ah she's only 6? Well that does seem a bit mean. Maybe they should spell the rules out beforehand. My school was like this- I got in serious trouble for missing 10 Tors training (an outdoor bound thing) when it clashed with another school event (French exchange). Couldn't win. Our school choir/orchestra used to chuck people out for not attending practice, but we all knew that before missing it iyswim.

I wouldn't bother saying anything in school though, I am however a very hands off parent where school is concerned. Unless it is a matter of bullying, crisis, achievemnet etc

I thought we were talking about secondary school too - sorry.
If she is only 6 I agree that on the face of it, that was a bit harsh.
Not sure if I would make a big thing of it though..

maybe my mistake gr2 in Australia is 2nd grade/year 2 etc etc