new item not as described seller aggressive

[cleanmachine]

I had a custom made dress made from a boutique. The seller confirmed many times or would be as the photos displayed. The dress arrived and was not like the photo but that's not the biggest issue. The problem is that its got net only at the back and not as the photo. I contacted the sleet and asked him to send me a small piece of material i could someone up north to sew onto the back for me as I font want to wear a backless dress exposing bra. Seller was aggressive and said well don't wear a bra of the straps are visible!

Anyway, do I leave neg feedback? I'm worried he is going to send me abusive emails. I'm too scared to ask for a refund and tbh I don't want him to be put out of pocket as the dress was hand made. Any suggestions? He is a newish seller with 100% positive feedback.

I'm quite new to eBay myself, but surely you could send a polite message back, with photos of the dress maybe, and say it doesn't match the photos on the listing. Say you would really like to resolve this between the two of you rather than involving eBay or PayPal, but that's the route you feel you have to take if you can't sort it out between yourselves.

You really shoul not have to fix the dress yourself because you bought a dress that appeared complete and wearable, which it clearly isn't! I don't think you should let this one go at all.

If the seller gets nasty you can block them and report them for each instance of aggressive contact.

Hope it works out

If you open a case that the item was Not As Described you should get a positive outcome from ebay and once you've sent the item back by a tracked method you should get a full refund of the money you paid in the transaction.

I'd leave negative (and completely factual) feedback once you have been refunded.

Is there any reason why you wouldn't like to use this approach?

It is poor customer service for them to be rude and aggressive to you and please do not be bullied into accepting somrthing that is not as you expected and PAID for. I would send a message eg

Hi
Thanks for sending the dress. Unfortunately it is different from the style I ordered and unsuitable. I would be happy to return the dress for you to adjust it if that is possible or for you to replace it with the style I ordered. I am sure we can sort this out amicably. Should you prefer for me to return the dress for a full refund then I will do that and will send it tracked to you. Please let me know how you wish to proceed to sort out this hitch as I would prefer to sort it out without ebay resolution if possible to save you any seller defects.
Kind regards...

I think this is friendly but shows you know your rights as far as ebay goes. It is in their interest as a seller to be professional about it. If it is not what you wanted and bought and they won't help willingly then in the end you can open a case and get a refund and they get a seller defect and possibly neg feedback and low stars. As for getting nasty - one nasty comment from them and report them to ebay. They cannot leave you neg fb or in any way spoil your account.
Hope you get it sorted and stay firm but fair, do not end up having to get the dress altered at your expense.

Thank you. The only reason I didn't want to go down the refund route is that I don't want the seller out of pocket. But he emailed me again today saying backless dresses are in vogue and im being awkward. Will email him again and try to sort it amicably.

Open a case and do neg. They cannot refuse a refund. And if they are abusive you report their emails. They will not resolve this amicably judging by their previous behaviour. Don;t let them bully you.

Hmmm. I can see you're a nice buyer OP but I don't think it's worthwhile negotiating with unreasonable sellers on ebay.

My approach is:

Did they get it righ? If NO, ask nicely.

Did they actively try to help after my nice request? If NO, don't engage and open a case.

I've given him one last chance to sort it. Don't know why I'm scared. I'm finding eBay really hard these days. I don't sell anymore but being a buyer can sometimes be tough too.

Thanks for all the advice.

I feel so sorry for you reading your problem and that you where scared of receiving unwanted emails from your seller,I was like this when I first started ebay, I was worried every time I sold something in case I received a negative response but now I have hardened up over 2 yrs selling on a frequent basis.Don't let this seller dictate to you what is In Vogue if it's not what you want get a refund and don't get into negotiation with him unless its through ebay messages where ebay can track his responses.