realised i have a problem with laxatives.

[BadPlanOfChristmasAction]

I've name changed due to embarrassment.
I've just taken half a packet of laxatives because I'm angry and disappointed with myself for how much I've eaten today. I've been doing this for about five years but it's the first time I've thought that maybe it's a problem.

I have a history of anorexia and bulimia, and have dealt with that, however I never do anything about the laxatives.
Does anyone have experience or wisdom with this or can just hold my hand for a bit?

This is part of your eating disorder. It may feel less "damaging" somehow, but overdosing, or taking laxatives on a daily basis will cause damage to your bowel.

Do you have a GP or other health care professional you could talk to?

I've mentioned everything except this to my GP before, but she has said she can't refer me to anyone because my
Bmi is normal.

I think you need to be really brave and talk again to your GP. They may have thought that your eating disorder was under control, but your laxative use shows that it isn't. Just because your BMI is normal, doesn't mean that you don't have an active eating disorder. She just didn't have the full information.

Your GP is pants - are they old? Can you ensure you see a different one next time? In terms of stopping, you need to look at the underlying triggers and that needs therapy ultimately. For me it was feeling chaotic in my family and once I left home it was a lot easier to modify my behaviour. You need to work on positively building self esteem. When I've over eaten I always tell myself tomorrow's another day and you'll do more damage by purging than just dealing with the feelings and trying to break the cycle.

Laxatives are dangerous and I know someone who had an addiction and needed their back passage operated in. Please get some help and good luck x

Thanks for the responses, I got confused having started this under a name change and couldn't change back easily to respond.