DE after Failed OE IVF- did you have any other testing? Responses v much appreciated!

[totalnamechanger]

Hello I'm seriously considering DE after long term secondary infertility.

My age now means that more attempts with OE are more than likely futile. I had 2 rounds of IVF last year. My AMH was higher than expected and I had 3 top grade embryos across the two rounds. No pregnancy with either.

My consultant said that all embryos were excellent and had real potential and that the failure must be due to my age. I've asked him on more than one occasion whether it is worth having other investigations (hycosy/ hysterscopy etc etc) and he is adamant that there isn't because it is just the age of the eggs causing problems. But I'm not totally convinced that that is the only problem and although I accept that I am extremely unlikely to get pregnant with my own eggs now (44) there's no point in going through IVF again if all along there was another problem which also was stopping implantation. I have a naturally conceived 5 year old. I had a couple of miscarriages 3.5 years ago at which point I had a really good AMH so wonder if it could be something else preventing pregnancy. For info the staff at the clinic really were lovely, compassionate and very professional so this isn't a general moan about the organisation.

So the long winded questions are: did any of you get pregnant with DE when you had had earlier OE IVF failures where you still produced good embryos and did you have any other investigations before moving to DE? If so how did you get these investigations done?

I'm looking at an access fertility DE package at the moment but am frustrated that it seems like the attention to detail and most up-to-date techniques are abroad, rather than in the UK unless you are willing to spend many tens of thousands. I would very much prefer donor ID but I wonder if Spain, Czech or Greece for example would be more meticulous in preparing for DE?

I would very much appreciate any thoughts/ experiences etc. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed after a difficult year. Thanks so much for reading.

I’m so sorry you are feeling like this and it’s totally rubbish. Infertility is so cruel.
I don’t have any experience of DE ivf but I think it’s easy to fixate on blood results and numbers during the ivf rollercoaster. It seems to me that the fertility specialists are still struggling to understand so much but the one thing they do know for sure is that increasing age results in decreasing egg quality. Low amh at 30 doesn’t mean low quality eggs.
I had an embryo which the embryologist said would most likely not result in a pregnancy but it did, so there is only so much they can tell by looking down a microscope.
If I was you I would get a 2nd opinion if you can afford to. If you have carried a baby to term only a few years ago, I wonder what you have to gain from more investigations unless something clinically has changed eg new pv bleeding x

Thank you starship for your kind response. You are right- infertility is tough and also isolating so it is good to know that here we can support one another. You are also right about the frustration that so much is unknown and we are just trying to get a clear answer which isn't always possible.

I'm 44 so the reality of having a baby with my own eggs is very slight and I understand that. However because I have been unable to maintain a pregnancy for nearly 4 years of trying despite having regular, painless periods and a good AMH (well last time I checked which was April so it could well have changed) I do wonder if something else has prevented implantation.

You have helped me realise I should have another opinion one way or another. I'm sure that many of us on this board don't feel we have time or money to waste so just biting the bullet and going somewhere else if I'm not sure about pursuing DE with my clinic could be a better bet in the long run.

Thanks again.

Wishing you lots of good luck with it all. It’s so heartbreaking to have to go through so much, all the while having no idea how it will all turn out. Hopefully a 2nd opinion will help you either way x

Hi. I have a donor egg conceived 4 year old - not due to infertility but to avoid passing on a genetic condition. I find it odd that your consultant has stressed the quality of your eggs and then said its your age that is the issue. Normally its your eggs that decline with your age, not anything else as they control everything else with drugs. I'd definitely get a second opinion before committing to more treatment. If you are looking abroad I would recommend IVI Alicante as long as you are happy with an anonymous donor.

Thanks again starship - you have motivated me into further action

Cute congratulations on your 4 year old success! Yes I'm finding my consultant slightly odd in his responses. He's funny and honest but sometimes a bit flippant or maybe that's not quite the right word for it... I'm not completely sure about what he says even though he's very experienced and the rest of the staff have been brilliant.

At the moment I'm torn as the most up to date treatments and higher chances of success seem to be in Europe but we'd really rather a non anonymous donor. I know that's all very well to say but of course the main thing is that it works!

I'm currently looking into an Access package (half cost refund if unsuccessful but with egg share in UK) or an Assured package (full cost refund if unsuccessful with no egg share but in IB Alicante so anonymous donor). Of course the no egg share has a better chance of success and there is also the guarantee so while expensive it is tempting. You say that IVI Alicante was very good, do you know anything about IB Alicante? How much was your treatment, if you don't mind me asking? How did you make your decisions on how to approach it?

Thank you so much for the information you have given so far and feel free to ignore any questions that are too personal

do you know anything about IB Alicante?
It’s meant to be a really good clinic. I looked into going there for egg donation, but they didn’t offer IMSI and as we have both male and female infertility I wanted to use a clinic which did IMSI so I didn’t pursue treatment with them.

Thanks EarlGrey. That's good to know. Which clinic did you go to in the end? Are you happy with your treatment?

We went to Embryolab in Thessaloniki. I am very happy with them, and not only because our treatment was successful at our first attempt.

They were very thorough- I assumed they’d find us a donor and we’d crack on with more of the same with donor eggs, but they wanted to investigate my husband’s sperm quality further and in the end decided he should have a surgical sperm retrieval.

I also think they’re very ethical- they don’t over stimulate their donors/guarantee a minimum number of eggs and the donors and recipients see their psychologist before treatment and their donors have to do the MMPI psychological test before being accepted. It was really important to me to use a clinic where as far as I could establish, the donors were not exploited and where they would not just give you anything you asked for (whether in your best interests or not) just because you could afford to pay for it.