Doing IVF with donor sperm due to infirtility

[MollysWish]

Hi there!

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for a few years now. He finally went to the doctor and we found out that he has Kleinfelters syndrome. Basically, he has a zero sperm count. My dream has always been to be a mom. After many talks, and endless nights crying, we have decided to give ivf a try. I was wondering if anyone I'd going through the same thing? Curious how your significant other feels about not being biologically the parent? And.. is it worth it? Just looking for someone to talk too. Thanks for listening!

Hi @MollysWish
Sorry to hear you're going through this.
I'm not in the same position, but the issue is with me. My DH has "super sperm" but I have low ovarian reserve to the point where ivf with a donor egg is the best option.
We have a couple more appointments over the next 2 weeks and then we'll be on the waiting list for eggs.
I have to say I'be made my peace with not being the biological parent. Clearly I wish this wasn't the case and we could use my eggs, but this way it means we can be parents. I guess it's different because I'll be carrying it, growing it and giving birth to it.
How are you guys doing? When did you make the decision? And are you NHS or private? We are NHS x

Hi Mollyswish, DH has this issue, we always knew that he had fertility problems but when we got samples done, there was no sperm in any of them. We had all the regular test results and a US Testes too, all came back normal, we tried supplements galore and still no sperm in any samples. The consultants told us that we could not have a biological child - they delivered this news rather harshly - and then told us to be on our merry way.
His urologist advised us of TESE but also said given that there is no sperm in any samples, he believed TESE would not find anything.
We were not eligible for IVF funding as I was 35 at the time. The UK clinics pretty much wrote him off.
It was a devastating time for us, especially DH as he had to make peace with not having his own child.
We decided on a European clinic who felt confident they could find sperm but also advised donor sperm as a back up, they have DH a counselling session too about using donor sperm. We agreed to go ahead as even though the baby may not be biologically his, he/she would still be his - it was a very difficult time.
We had TESE and they found decent quality sperm, 3 vials to freeze, we did ICSI and have grade 4AA 5 day blasts ready for FET from my eggs and his sperm.

Hi,

Do ave a look at the Donor Conception Network site. It has lots of info. They also have a helpline and if you join you can meet other couples who have used donor sperm.r

www.dcnetwork.org/

Hi there, we are in the same boat. My DH has the problem... we tested for low speem count in November last year but since nothing. We now are booked into having the MTESE however DRs aren’t that hopeful. We got a second opinion from a DR who specialises in male fertility... again still not positive but maybe a chance of using DH sperm.

In the meantime we have reserved donor sperm but still not comfortable nor 100% if it’s right... I think having the choice of characteristics, hair eye colour etc just makes it so much more difficult, as we feel we don’t want to make the wrong choice. Just praying they find something. AniSL you have given me some hope. Thank you and I hope you have some positive news