My ex and I have a difficult relationship, which has been getting steadily worse over the past few years. From my point of view he has become less and less reliable and more hostile, and seems to expect me to be 100% responsible for everything child related. Kids are 18 (with additional needs) and 14. The latest thing is that he has decided to cut down his contact with the 14 from once a week (sat pm to sun afternoon) to once a month, as the travel costs are too much. This comes after he moved a further 15mins away (now an hours drive), to a 4 bed house, though obviously according to him the move has nothing to do with it. He tried to shift travel costs onto me by insisting teen would need to need to take public transport to his which i would need to arrange and pay for. I refused as I genuinely cannot afford it - his maintenance per child is less than £33 a week and transport would have been around £15-£20). He has now decided he can only see teen when his parents visit once a month, and they will pick up and drop off on their way past.
I am livid, not for me (because quite frankly the less he is involved the less he can change things last minute and expect me to fix it), but for my child who adores their dad and is gutted. Am I unreasonable to have applied to mediation to show my child that I am doing everything I can to make sure they can still see him? I don't actually think he will attend, but I want teen to know that I am not the reason they don't see him. I know nobody can force him to see them if he doesn't want to, but I also know he will try and frame it to the kids as my fault somehow. Am I wasting a mediators time, in the vain hope he will commit to something for the sake of the 14yo? And even if it does work am I just setting them up to be let down by him again? Should I just cancel the mediation request and let it play out naturally?
Sorry it's so long!
(Also posted in aibu)