Struggling with my ex's engagement while co-parenting our young children - why do I keep taking so many steps backwards!

[Tryingtobe123]

Spiralling over my ex getting engaged. I’ve done so much therapy, working on myself and it’s just set me back to when I first found out he had a girlfriend

I feel very disposed of and unworthy. He did a huge proposal, rose petals and all sorts. We were engaged and there was none of that for me

we still have to be in touch due to having young children. I need to figure out how to cut ties a bit further but I’m not sure how? Any tips? This healing process feels very slow for me and so back and force. Meanwhile he’s just managed to move on so quickly (4 months after we split) and he’s moving at such a fast pace?! What am I doing wrong!

any wise words?

Who finished with who? And why?

4 months post split he’s engaged?

OP… he would have been with her before you split

How long have they been together and how long ago did you split? It’s understandable it’s opened up a wound that you thought may have healed. If it’s moved very quickly I’d see that as a bit of a red flag if I was his partner.

If you don’t already, only speak to him re logistics, block him on any social media, don’t let him know you’re bothered about it.

Hopefully the feeling passes soon, hang in there x

Sorry - he moved on after 4 months. They’ve been together 12 months now. We were together for 11 years and split due to him basically sneaking around behind my back with women/also prostitutes. I do not want him back, but when do the feelings of inadequacy compared to his new partner start to feel better!

More fool her then.

Just remember, he done it to you, he will do it to her, people like that don’t just change overnight.

@itwasntme2019 see I keep being told this, but he was very good at making me feel like it was my fault. Not enough sex, didn’t show him I loved him enough…and even after all these months I sometimes think maybe he was right!

WTF??? And you pang for this man???

OP. Come on now!

ps have you been tested for STDs?

It’s always easier to blame someone else rather than look inwards and say ‘I’m a weak man and a massive prick’ right?

@Tulipsayes as I said before I don’t ‘pang’ for him. I don’t want to be with him at all, this is a me problem and I’m wondering ways I can look after myself in the healing process. It was/is a lot of hurt with having such young kids. Doesn’t mean I want him back. And yes I have been checked.

Pity the poor woman he’s with. Pity her

So a guy that would do or say anything to get his leg over, continues to do or say anything to get a leg over.
Aren't you glad not to be in that mess?! You know he won't be faithful, he is going to hurt her the same way in time.
It's what he is.
You really don't want that, and you don't want to be "a good option" for someone like that.