That’s interesting about ‘moving on’ @Onlyausername you are right, it only protects their narrative. “See she’s doing fine!” But in reality something in us was broken. Well that’s how I feel at the moment anyway. My trust was completely broken. I’m not sure how I’d ever trust a man again, nor that I’d want to.
In the early days after the discard, I was in genuine, total shock. My body and brain froze. I completely stopped eating and functioned like a ghost or zombie. I then gained all the weight back I’d lost when I couldn’t eat, plus more through comfort eating. To the outside world I’m ’fine.’ I shower, go to work, care for my family, go to the gym, see my therapist, take care of the house etc basically look and act normal and perform being ‘fine’ every day, and I know at some point I genuinely will be ok. But my entire outlook on the world has changed. Friends don’t ask if I’m ok anymore. To them it was a ‘break up’ and it’s been the best part of a year so I have the feeling I should be ‘over it’ by now. But I’m not, my entire reality and future was changed in an instant with no discussion, how can that be ok? I know about closure, closing the loops etc. But my brain still can not be ok with what happened.
My ex and I luckily have no mutual friends and don’t go to the same places, so I’ve not had to deal with him in person or protect or see his reputation. I can only imagine the pain of someone who still has to interact with the discarded or share children or space with them. It really is an emotional assault.
I hate the term discard. I’m not rubbish to be thrown away. But that’s how I was treated, after years of treating him with nothing but love and care.