Struggling to press for divorce due to finances = anyone else?

[Captivatingcapybara]

Hello,

Is there anyone else who has been or is a similar position? Really struggling to divorce as I cannot give up the house for at least a few years ( kids, exams, one ND and complex ed setup). To split up with 50/50 I would have to buy him out and and up with such a huge mortgage that would be impossible.

I am not money fixated but even cutting outgoings further would make it impossible. I have to be realistic! Pensions v similar btw, he is about 10k up on me but I earn about twice what he does. I am primary caregiver for both ( obv more complex for one, ehcp, eotas etc, it is tough).

Thanks

If you’re income is much higher you could end up with less than 50:50 although you’re role in providing care for your children with special needs is likely to carry weight in regards asset division . Will that child live independently in the future ?

in reality I don’t think there are any ‘good’ answers. You either need to decide it’s definitely over and accept the financial impact -can you move and buy cheaper ? Will be a dot lower share ? Can you defer his payment ? All things to discuss and consider depending on your relationship and whether he he equally wanting stability for children

or you stay and accept that for now.

is the marriage definitely over ? Or any chance of making it work ? What’s the reason you are wanting a divorce ?

Have you spoken to a solicitor to get their advice on what you would reasonably get? Is your house adapted in anyway for your SEN child? We made our house open plan downstairs so I could keep an eye on our SEN child at all times (high need) and that was enough for me to keep the house (and equity) I was a full time carer though and gave up a good career to be one. My exh got £10k (solicitor/barister fees came to £20k+ though because he dragged it out for 2y)