Advice on family court hearings

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Advice on family custody hearings
My SIL is being taken to court my her ex over custody of their two dc (11 and 9). They divorced a couple of years ago after she had an affair and became pregnant with her new DP’s baby. She now lives with her DP and her DC. Her DC have occasional contact with the ex but apparently are not overly keen on seeing him.
SIL can’t afford a solicitor and isn’t eligible for legal aid so is representing herself. They have had mediation and are due in court on Wednesday.

I am curious of other’s experiences of self representing in custody cases and any advice on what way it might go? Is she likely to maintain full custody or might it be shared going forward? There is no current agreement in place. There was no financial settlement when they divorced as she didn’t want to wait for that to be sorted out and they still own the family home together, where ex lives as he refuses to move out. SIL rents privately and pays cripplingly high rent due to not being entitled to UC as she owns (jointly) a home that she doesn’t live in and therefore not eligible for UC.

Why are they going to court ?
why does dad only see them occasionally?
what are they disagreeing on?

without understanding this no one can say

but unless there are extenuating circumstances specific to child welfare then ex is very likely to be given frequent regular overnights should that be what is asked for

She needs to force a sale (this can be very expensive).

For custody, they’ll take the older DC’s opinion into consideration. He’s likely to be awarded EOWE contact, building up from a day to overnight to a weekend. It’s unlikely to be more unless DC want it.

I guess the question is why don’t they want it

@millymollymoomoo they’re going to court as they can’t agree and things have become very volatile. Not violent or anything. They just can’t agree and she hates him.
mum has influenced dc against dad and they do have contact but it’s as and when and not formally agreed. They live a few miles apart.

She doesn’t want him to have any custody out of spite. He has always been a perfectly good dad.

Then he needs to be able to demonstrate parental alienation

He needs to be consistent, respectful and do whatever’s asked in court with grace, then. He’s not acting fairly by refusing to sell the house, knowing the impact it has on his own children. Neither parent smells of roses here.

Chances are, if he can provide a nice home and behave fairly to their mum, they’ll gravitate towards his house as teens anyway as it won’t have a new stepdad and a toddler in.

Your SIL is a fool and is damaging her DC. I expect the courts will want a plan of regular increasing contact and for the aim to be 50:50.

The ex is being an idiot stalling over the finances.

He wants a formal order regarding contact time with his children, and he will certainly get it.

Unless she has rock-solid proof that he is a potential danger to his children, the court will take a very dim view of your SIL's actions.

Your SIL needs to arrive at court prepared. She needs to write down the reasons why she thinks he is a danger to his children. She will need proof, like criminal convictions or other irrefutable evidence. These are the only things the court will take into account.

The finances are treated as a separate issue and the court will have no interest in who has or hasn't paid what. That is for her and her ex to resolve.

In this situation, the children should have the chance to have their voice heard. Have they been given the chance to do mediation? Hopefully the court will appoint cafcass and the children will be heard.

First hearing is likely to be an overview of the case and a judge will determine next steps.

Where one parents refuses contact a judge is likely to order a CAFCASS report to determine the facts and what is in the best interests of the children.

The children will meet with the social worker and they will seek input from the school. Their thoughts and feelings will be considered but judges/social workers are alert to parent alienation (some say the pendulum has swung a little too far and children are not being adequately protected).

The divorce (ending a marriage) is different to financially ending a marriage so that needs to follow through. Without a financial order they will remain financially tied.

Does the father pay child maintenance?

Yes dad pays maintenance which means believe is £700 per month as he’s quite a high earner.
he has good family support wiht parents living locally and no criminal
convictions.

This is initial hearing and children haven’t spoken to a social worker. Do you think there will be further hearings then ?