Hello all. Hoping for some advice and to know that this situation isn't unique and its ok to make some tough decisions for the future. I feel very sad but also have SO much anger and resentment toward OH which has now resulted in us not speaking for about 3 months. There are no more arguments - just silence as we carry on with our (separate but together) lives.
Im late 40s, married 20 years. We have three teenage DC'S. Married life has been tough, knew v early on that we were very different people but I wanted to make it work so bent/moulded myself into something that was so far from my true self. Sacrificed everything- my close family, friends, social activities to fit and accommodate his expectations - hes always been non sociable, doesnt like to entertain or have many friends, stays in his private office room most of the time on his hobbies.. I have a good career that I held onto despite him putting me down constantly over it as I never wanted to be dependent.
I raise the children and do everything. He does spend time with them and they love him very much and are quite protective of him as hes childish, immature and at their level. They see him as fun. I am tired, angry and sick of it all.
Its all come to a head - i was seriously unwell last year with some life changing outcomes and his first reaction was to worry about himself and the financial situation for him. That was the final nail. I went to my scans/appointments alone. Since then - theres been a few other big issues which has resulted in me totally checking out. I don't care anymore and want out. The kids have asked us to stay together and so does he. I can't stomach this as my future.
Do I leave and start again? It would be me doing all the divorce paperwork and he would drag his heels. Do we continue to exist with separate lives under same roof for the kids? What happens when they leave home.
So depressed and don't know where to turn.