Telling kids/order of things

[Minkyscamp]

When you told your kids you were separating, did you then have a period before your ex moved out? Or was it pretty instantaneous?

Im trying to work out the best way to approach this. My kids are 12 and 10, both autistic and very anxious around change.

I suspect it will be better to tell them in the first instance, then stbxh looks for a rental (this is our current plan) and we put the house on the market. However, (a) we will need to get marketing the house asap really, as we can’t afford to have him in rental and me in our current house for any longer than necessary, and (b) does this just prolong the uncertainty and confusion for the kids?

Any insight welcome from those of you who have been through this. Many thanks.

We did this. We told them at the beginning of the school holidays but carried on living together until my ex partner could get a rental. He moves out on Friday. My middle one (7) is also autistic and I think it’s been good for it to come gradually rather than a big shock and daddy moved out straight away. We’ve lived together during the week but alternated weekends with one of us going to stay with parents/friends. This has worked really well for us and now when he moves out they are already used to there just being one of us most of the time rather than both.

if that makes sense! Typing whilst bathing kids!

@PippetyPoppetyPiethank you! That sounds really positive. I don’t think we can wait that long, but will definitely try to create some space between telling them and him moving out.
Unfortunately we will probably struggle for the kids to manage with just my ex at the weekend, as I’m very much their safe person and they don’t cope very well without me. But I’m hoping we can take small steps towards this.
I’m glad it’s going well for you.